What type of men are abusive towards women?

Answer 1

I think I'd like to answer this question with a few characteristics of abusive men. I don't think there is a specific type of guy. Not all men with these characteristics are abusive, because abusing a partner is a choice.

1. Hot tempered, quick to get upset, easily stressed out. People with these problems tend to use the red-out/black-out excuss when they are abusive.

2. Using the scapegoat, excuss. This means that he blames everyone else for his problems. Abusive men almost alway blame their spouse for instigating the situations that get them abused.

3. He doesn't know the meaning of "NO". When someone tells him no, he takes offence to it or laughs and does what he wanted to do in the first place.

4. His father is abusive. Now not everyone who had abusive parents will be an abuser but it has been proven in the psychology community to be a factor.

5. There are some religions that allow for abuse towards women, as well as, some social groups that aren't religiously based. Look for indications that he believes women are lesser beings than men. Or he has his own ideas of what a woman's "place" is.

6. Some people are more likely to be abusive because of mental illness or drug abuse. These situations make stress levels much higher and thinking clearly isn't always possible. This does not mean that it is ok, but that the abuser may not have been abusive if the mental illness or drugs were not present.

Some less obvious signs:

7. He is secretive about certain aspects of his life. This is some what linked to #5 because it indicates that he isn't willing to share with his wife, either because its "not her business" or "she wouldn't understand."

8. High standards. She needs to be a certain height, weight, age, etc. She has to look a certain way and speak just right. Men with extremely high standards won't ever be satisfied. The ones that become abusive, use abuse as a means to "teach her" to be better.

Ok so how do you tell if these characteristics are going to lead to abuse? You can't. Not everyone shows their devil side. The best bet is to know what you want before you start looking. Communicate well with the person you want to be with as well as his/her family. Learn something about a person before you get intimate or married.

ABOVE ALL...Get hit once, and get out. Don't wait for him to change or stop. It won't happen. And emotional/mental abuse is just as bad as a slap in the face. If he is trying to hurt you with words or his actions then don't stand for it. Get out.