Yes they can refuse if you are not married or not a relative.
No.
The way that an employer would refuse to give an employee a handbook is they are trying to with hold a benefit.
Employers can refuse to hire anyone for any cause. Just because you are qualified does not mean that they must hire you and nobody else.
strike ... or resignation.
fire you i guess.
Only if your employer happens to be a branch of the US military.
Yes, the employer can ask. But you can always refuse and take the consequences.
yes ....
Certainly. No law requires the employer to do more than pay you for hours worked.
Your employer can refuse if they have good reason. I'm not certain what kind of reason that could be, but if they are providing insurance to everyone else except you, you might have a discrimination case on your hands.
Of course it can.
No. You have no expectation that your birthdate remain private.