Daughter is a cutter vilent since 12yrs old-now 17 yrs of counseling is worse you'd like to know what is wrong here?

Answer 1

Do you attend counseling with her to understand her problems? Do you sit and talk with her? Is she on drugs, illegal or otherwise? Have you brought up your concerns to her medical professional? Have you thought about a 72 hour evaluation? My guess would be that she feels utterly and completely alone, she probably feels that by you making her seek medical help that you are shunting her and that you don't care as much as you say. In my experience (being the cutter and the one with issues) it is better for the parent to attempt connecting with their child than to just say "I can't do it, let's get a professional!". Yes, that may seem more wise using today's logic, but in reality, it's not. If you talk to her you may discover that she is sexually promiscuous due in part to her feeling that her parents don't care and then she brings that baggage home with her and releases it on you. You may find that she has been raped and you didn't know, you may also find that she is on drugs that can alter her mood such as Methamphetamine. All of these are very real possibilities that you will not know about until you speak with her. Also, you need to listen, because even undirected cutting is a form of communication whether the child is saying how they feel, how they wish they could feel, how they think the were wrong, how they hurt, asking for your help through a difficult situation or any number of other things. You need to listen, too many parents refuse to listen and just pawn their children off on the medical community when all the problems could be resolved at home. This is not to say that more intensive treatment may not be needed, just that it would be wise to listen.