Do you always know that you love someone the first time you see them or can you fall in love with them over time?

Answer 1

When you meet someone for the first time you are just getting aquainted. Love at first sight is not real you like what you see that's the physical appearance. As time passes by when you get to know the person's personality and shortcomings, then when will decide if you can tolerate the person for who he is. You cannot fall in love overtime, that is infactuation.

Usually people fall in love over time. You can have a very strong connection with someone at first, but for true love you have to know a person. An example; my husband and I were only friends for years because I didn't see him as more than that. Then one day, I started to like him as more than a friend. We started dating, fell in love and got married. Years later, we are still very happy and in love.

Hi Allie:

I started your message and it disappeared on me so here I go again.

Both can happen. When we're young we are over 50% physically attracted to the person and often miss danger signs in their personality. The reverse is usually true as you get older.

I believe in chemistry between two people and sometimes for the first time it clicks. Some people have to wait for the right person to come along. I suppose that is what makes it all so magical and romantic ... we just never quite know what is around the corner for each of us. I still think it's a good idea to take it slow and get to know the person very well. We all have ghosts in our closets.

I was married before and married for the physical attributes of my ex and although you can have both in a man, this did not work out. I didn't see all the down sides of his personality even though family and friends warned me of him. I was young, in love (so I thought) and never ventured past his looks. It was a good lesson learned.

I met my 2nd husband in an odd way; through a male friend who had known me when I was married to my ex. I had been dating, but couldn't seem to find the right person for me so I was taking a breather. He came from out of town for a visit and he asked what I was looking for in a man and I told him he had to have a good personality, make me laugh, be sensitive and love life and last, but surely not least ... TALL! LOL Well, he came with two nice fellows and one was just not my type, but the 2nd fellow was 6' 6" tall with a slim, muscular build, tanned, etc., etc. Not only that he had a great personality! I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't physically attracted to him, but we didn't date right off the bat and became good friends. Then, by magic, we realized we had all the good makings of a successful marriage and we've been married for 32 years. Even though we are a lot older, I still look at him and think he's a fantastic person and I'm still attracted to him.

Hope you have someone you care about and I hope it works out for you.

Marcy