Effect of good and poor family?

Answer 1

Good question. The effects of good vs. bad/poor families have a broad range of affects on the individual. I'm an example of a bad family where my parents were always arguing, talking loud, physically abused me and my siblings in order to try to teach us their ways of acceptable discipline which did nothing but harm me and my siblings growth potential. However, I have learned from all of this and am a much more mature and responsible adult (age 27). Here are the way that my poor family affected my life and personality:

- I've had a dependency on needing to feel loved because I did not get the love and affection I needed from them especially when I was in my teenage years. I did not get the affection I needed from my mom to feel loved. Over the years I learned that this dependency is bad especially in relationships. I was in relationships that were not productive where I did not get the similar level of affection and love in return. Rather, I gave too much and the other person took me for granted. As as I aged, I matured and learned to value the love I have for someone is very special and should never be taken for granted. I deserved better.

-I made poor choices in education. My dad always stressed to me that I needed to make "A LOT" of money. I went to a University that was expensive and I ended up going only to please my parents making them believe that I am getting a good education so that they would stop bugging me so much about it everyday. I am still paying back the loans that I took out to go to school. One should never get an education just to impress a parent or friend/loved one. It should be for yourself; to have a better chance at getting a higher paying job and feel accomplished. In today's world though, and in my career field (Information Technology), experience counts more as this tells the employer that you know what you are doing rather than a degree saying you know this and that. Employers want evidence (past job history) that you are a good canidate. As of today, I'm finally at a company now where I have a bright future and I worked VERY HARD to get to where I am now. I learned to be ambitious and confident. Just because I didn't earn by bachelors didn't mean I couldn't get a good job. I never liked the school and stopped going to gain experience in the job market. -I made poor choices in choosing friends. I had friends who were lower than me and who didn't appreciate me. Rather, they used me and I ended up being backstabbed many times. Finally I learned that a good friend is better than many friends. A good friend will be there during good and bad times in your life. My parents never talked with me about what a good friend is like because my dad who I needed during my difficult teenage times was not there. He was not approachable and always was out with friends. If he wasn't out, he would be sleeping at home. I needed a good friend (my dad) who would show me guidance. I now have very few trustworthy and respectable friends as I've learned to have the will power to say no to peer pressure and be able to choose a good friend from a bad one. Now my parents are divorced since their inability to communicate and raise children the right way lead me and my siblings to be distant from them. They started to blame each other and thought that their parents way of raising a family will still work in today's world. It does not, for the most part. My parents didn't adapt to change when we moved here and this caused them to grow apart. My mom couldn't really get a job since she never learned the English language and my dad started to look for love in another womans arms who was a huge mess of her own. I guess similar people with similar messy lives attract each other. I live on my own now and hope to have my own family someday soon which will be how I wish my family was. There is much more but I want to keep this short. Remember, just because you had a bad childhood and parents who had poor parenting skills doesn't mean that you will end up on the same path. P.S. Forgot to log in :)