How can someone who is either considering leaving her abuser or sending him to an abuser program protect herself from paybacks or retaliation so that she can rest assured that she did the right thing?

Answer 1

Once you leave your abuser put it in your mind that you are leaving him for good! There is no going back! Few abusers ever seek psychological help because they truly believe there is nothing wrong with them and no one is going to tell them otherwise. Some abusers will even fight the police and still swing at their victim while the police are standing right there. Abusers think they own their victim and that there are no authority figures that should be meddling in the abuser's personal affairs. YOU don't send the abuser to a program because he has to want to go. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. If he agrees to go he's pulling your chain! Abusers are sneaky and sick individuals and by believing he will go for help and you are still living there you are putting your life at risk. Physical abuse is not to be taken lightly and women are murdered for a lot less. Leave! Find out where your local "Abused Women's Center" is, or contact Mental Health and they will put you in the right direction. Not only does your abuser need help, but you have been psychologically bruised and you need some help in healing as well before you can expect to have a productive lifestyle. Good luck hon and be careful! Marcy