How can you tell a family member about treatments that you have read in a book such as an abuser program if fear of retribution from the abuser forces you to say nothing thus enabling the abuser?

Answer 1

You are one smart person. There are loads of books out there, but to me most are useless because the victim of the abuser pretty much knows they are abused and are in a depressed state and thus, concentration for reading isn't there for them. Also, you can read until you are blue in the face, but actions speak louder than words. I would suggest this: (I volunteer for an Abused Women's Center) When the abuser isn't around tell your friend that you'll be there 100% (and keep your promise) and help her pack a few things and then hide the suitcase or better still, just a plain old cardboard box. Then make a phone call to the "Abused Women's Center" for an appointment with one of the counselors. The counselors a wonderful women, and they will help your friend get on the right track. They will ask her questions, and of course they know she may well burst into tears and they've seen much with abused woman so nothing much surprises them anymore. There is no need for your friend to feel weak or embarrassed. Abused women are not weak women! Then the counselor will send your friend to a Transition House (not even you will know where it is) and it's also called a "safe house." From there she will get counseling and often help legally as well as a shove in the right direction for a job and getting on with her own life. If she has children then take the children with you and the counselors have a play area with someone present to watch over them while the mom is in the office with the counselor. The children will also go to the Transition House. If you can't find the phone # for the Women's Center then phone "Mental Health" or any hospital and they have all the #s. Be careful! The abuser could well come after you! Good luck You're a great friend Marcy