How can you tell if you're being verbally abused or if you're really messing up a lot?

Chances are good that if you feel you might be a victim of verbal abuse, you probably are. Regardless of whether you're legitimately "messing up alot" or not, you can still be a victim of verbal abuse, which would definitely contribute to feelings of inadequacy in you and could result in you making the kinds of mistakes abusers like to accuse their victims of making; all the while denying that they themselves are contributing to the problem. No abuser will ever confess to abuse unless doing so gives him/her a psychological advantage over others. Keeping their victims disoriented and confused is the abuser's way of maintaining control of his/her universe, and all in it. I suggest you do an Internet search on Dr. Sam Vankin. In my opinion, he has a lot of excellent insight on the subject of verbal/ambient abuse; it's causes and how to tell when it's happening. Drill this message into your heart above all else: It doesn't matter how much you "mess up", NO ONE DESERVES ABUSE!! Not even abusers. That's how they got that way in the first place. And DON"T KEEP IT A SECRET! Take Care!