How can you tell the difference between love and desperation?

Answer 1

Sorry to put this on top, but I want this young man to see this post.

I was extremely moved by your story and some people just don't realize a person can love another person with mind, body and soul and no one else can quite take their place. On top of that your girlfriend has a depression problem and thus, that's why you weren't contacted. This reminds me, in ways, of the movie "Notebook" where two young lovers in the 1940s are madly in love (more so than most) and end up going their separate ways mainly because her family was wealthy and his was not. It ended well in ways, but it was a bittersweet love story.

You did make some mistakes along the way, but, we ALL make mistakes and if we didn't what could we possibly learn on this earth? Nothing! When one chooses not to learn from your mistakes is the sad part of it all.

Joining the Military was a noble thing, but you did so for all the wrong reasons. Now that you are there just do the best you can and God Bless You that you come back in one piece!

If this young woman is getting married then she had every opportunity to look you up and explain the situation. She chose not too for whatever reason (perhaps she thought you had met someone else.) To put this to rest try to contact her (as a friend) so at least both of you know what actually happened in your relationship. If she is still going to be married then it's time you felt peace within yourself and move on. Your friend is giving you some good advice! Change that Will!

No, you are not mentally disturbed in the least. Love can be bittersweet. Some people love but one person and if that relationship shouldn't work out or even get started in the right direction that person may never want to marry anyone else. However, I suggest once you have found answers to your many questions (hopefully from this young woman) you do move forward and find that special someone and have a family of your own. You haven't given yourself a chance to share yourself with anyone else because you are curled up in the shadows licking your wounds. It's time to come out into the light and realize there is still a good life ahead of you.

I wish you all the very best and may God keep you safe.

AnswerI dated this girl my first couple years of college, and I was in love with her. I always thought that we would always stay together. I thought we were really close; everyone would tell us how perfect we were for each other. Then, she went to Europe for a semister and half way through she stopped calling me. I didnt think anything was wrong at first, but, when she didnt call me on my birthday, i knew it was over. What i didnt expect was how easy it was for her to let go. All she would talk about was how perfect I was, and then she didnt seem to care at all. It was so callous and i was completely heartbroken. I tried to move on, but i just couldn't find a girl that i cared about. It didnt matter how nice they were, i just didnt want another relationship. I didnt want the same thing to happen again. I struggled finishing school; I dropped out of two schools i really wanted to go to because it wasnt where i wanted to be. I tried persuing football, but I kept getting hurt. It seemed like all my dreams were gone, and I still never really got her out of my head. I would still think of her when i would her songs that we used to listen to or things she would always say.Then I made the decision to join the military. I tell my family and friends that i joined because i wanted to help, but a part of me realizes that one of the reasons I joined was because i wanted to stop thinking about her. I know how crazy that sounds, but it worked. Then as I am about to go to Iraq and i have stopped thinking about her, I find out she is sick and my world stopped. It turns out that she has a serious mental illness and it will effect her the rest of her life. When i found out, all I wanted to do was fly back home, fill her room with pink roses, and make sure she got the best care possible, but what my friend also told me was she is getting married. She was sick and i couldn't do anything to help her. It has been years, but I cant stop worring about her. I did they only thing I could do, I put her in my will so that, if i do die in Iraq, she will get everything. My best friend was furious when i told her what i did, and she thinks that I have wasted too much of my life on her. So I came across this website, and I wanted to ask people that were impartial. Can it still be love after all this time, are my actions noble, or am I the one with the mental illness? AnswerIt's desperation when you "settle" with someone. Answerdesperation is when the relationship is centered around you. you just want a relationship, it doesnt matter who, you just want one. it may not be love, but it could grow into love. love focuses on the person, theres only a few certain people you can love. desperation doesnt follow that because the person's desire is selfish and only on themselves. you may have heard love means being giving and puting someone else first. desperation seeks to fulfill your desires by using the person you "love". the person above stated it simply and perfectly!

Answer

Love is wanting a certain person and cherishing the very thought of them. Desperation is when you cant get anyone and you just want whoever is there. But love is seeing that person in a room full of people, and not caring who else is there.