Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
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How do abusers become abusers?

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Answered 2011-12-04 13:28:56

By being abused themselves.

How an abuser becomes abusiveThis is a question of nature vs. nurture. Although abusive behavior is passed on within families, it would seem that it is more about the family dynamics of both the parents and other family members than genetic. Within the family, if abusive behavior (verbal or physical abuse) is condoned, especially by blaming the victim, it will become an acceptable way to deal with emotions. An abused child is more likely to become an abuser himself to his/her family as an adult if it is not recognized and dealt with. (and sometimes, even then) In my life, children within the family did not have their emotional needs met as children and grew up without being able to show empathy or compassion. One thing that remains to be said: the victim of the abuse does NOT cause the abuser to become abusive--it is the abuser's choice of behavior. It is best to have a professional handle the issue, since they have the training to create boundaries and effect change. A good book on this subject is Patricia Evans' The Verbally Abusive Relationship.

Abusers became abusers by how they were raised. Spoiled and neglected children often become abusers because their parents conditioned them in both cases to reject accountability for their bad behavior. The parents who spoiled their children have kids that were conditioned to expect to get away with murder and not have to face consequences. They believe it is their right to do whatever they feel without suffering a consequence, even if it hurts others. They were raised to be self-centered, arrogant, always thinking they are right. And flying into an abusive rage when life drops little hints that the universe does not, in fact, revolve around them. A neglected child faces a similiar fate, although they will be less successful in life. Both the spoiled and the neglected never learned to tie bad behavior to conseqeunces, both never learned they needed to control their tantrums, both were conditioned into believing they aren't responsable for their behavior. Both were conditioned into this behavior by their parents (their lack of parenting, actually). The prerequisist for being an abuser is a profound selfishness and sense of entitlement. Abuse doesn't happen without those traits. Often they come upon these traits because they were spoiled growing up. Or their parents failed to raise them properly with discipline that fit their transgressions. A neglectful parent and a parent that spoils their kids can have the same effect. It creates a selfish, baby like personality that doesn't think it needs to face consequences, and throws a tantrum at the slightest discomfort. Its a myth to say that abused people become abusers themselves. Only self-centered, un-empathic, entitled people abuse. It is also a myth that abusers simply can't control their impluses. They can and do. Why else do they behave abusively behind closed doors, only to their loved ones...yet turn on the charm and act all sweetness and light in public or in front of authorities? They CHOOSE to abuse so that they can get away with it. They know what they are doing. They know it is wrong. They simply don't care. They are experts at behaving badly and getting away with it. They were raised perfectly for that.

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Do abused children become abusers?

A lot of times the abused can become abusers. But I've known people who have noticed their behavior and learned to control it. Not only that but a lot of times counseling will help with that.

Do abused children eventually become abusers?

Some do, but by no means all do.

What percentage of children who have been abused later become abusers?


Do the abused become abusers?

In many cases yes. You become what your were brought up in.. But there are a select few that vow they will never become the monsters they had to endure.

Do animal abusers become murderers?

Probably not because animal abusers aren't killing animals, they are punishing them, because they are mean and they must of had something happen to them. Murderers are people who kill other people, not torture them.

How many sexual abusers were abused themselves?

There is no known statistics on how many sexual abusers were abused themselves. It is important to keep in mind that not every person that was abused will go on to be abusers.

Are all abusers narcissistic or are all narcissists abusers?

Not all abusers are narcissists, but all narcissists are abusive. Thats right. Some abusers are BPD. Some are sociopaths. But all abusers have a personality disorder. All are selfish (to a dangerous degree). All lack empathy (when it gets in the way of their selfish desires..and there are innumerous desires, they are never satisfied).

What are child abusers punishment?

Child abusers deserve all the punishment they can get from the law as children are innocent, have no legal rights such as adults, feel so much fear they don't realize there is help for them and they have to take the abuse and basically not tell a soul because they have been threatened by the abuser. Child abuse can leave mental scars with the child throughout adulthood and some may become abusers of their own children.

How many animal abusers are in Florida?

I think alot of animal abusers are in Florida.I watch animal planet ever night and I get so mad of the people who do stuff to the animals. I know there millons of animals abusers in Florida. If you watch animal planet ever night then you wish that the animal abusers will go to jail forever. I hope I answered your question. Just to say there millons of animal abusers in Florida.

How long do child abusers go to jail for?

in the state of Oklahoma chil abusers can receive up to life without parole.

Where can drug abusers go to get help?

Drug abusers can go to rehab or a treatment center. Teens can go to juvenile detention.

Who abuses animals?

Animal abusers do.

Are most firefighters sexual abusers?


Do abused people become abusers?

Most Likely Because Just Like A Bully, A Person Who Was Abused By A Bully, Becomes A Bully. Its The Same Thing As Abusation. -Lexxicerox

How do you stop abusers?

To stop abusers, they should be held accountable for their actions. If someone reports the abuse to the police, the person may stop their abuse.

How do you open a halfway house for substance abusers?

how does one open a halfway house for substance abusers in the Bronx, NY

How many animal abusers are in jail?

Not enough.

What predators do pit bulls have?

animal abusers

Which state has the most animal abusers?


What type of food has been identified in substance abusers?

abusers ate more snack foods and meat group (low intake of milk fruits and vegetables)

Does he abuse in all his relationships?

Probably. Abusers abuse.

Where can you talk with people living with drug abusers?


What are some treatments for abusers?

Re-education; counseling.

What do you call the people who abuse animals?

animal abusers

Why do people kill they dogs?

They're abusers & irresponsible.

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