How do people celebrate Newtonmas?

Answer 1

Newtonmas is the celebration of the birth (and subsequent good works) of Sir Isaac newton (25 December 1642 OS). Sir Isaac worked to develop the math to describe gravitation and the movement of objects, as the story goes, after being hit on the head by a falling apple. Without this cutting edge physics, who knows what direction falling objects may have traveled!

Note that evolutionary theory suggests that the downward movement of falling objects may be Darwinian in origin not Newtonian. Objects (such as apples) which fell in other directions as well as down would have been eliminated from the gene pool as they would disappear into space never to sprout and grow. Many disregard this potential reason but it is presented in the way that Creationist Theories appear in some school text books along with science based theories.

As a consequence, his life is remembered on the 25th of December every year. People celebrate by giving each other apple-based or apple-themed gifts (including iPods), and by eating apple pies and drinking hard cider. Fig Newtons are also acceptable. These gifts are dropped not the recipients laps - thanks to our Newtonian understanding of gravity we know they will be moved by gravity to the laps.

A wide range of Newtonmas cards and T-shirts are available from retailers.

For unknown reasons, the citizens of Newton, Mass. have not adopted this celebration as a special event in their city.

Occasionally the poem "Twas he Night Before Newtonmas" is recited (Reprinted by permission of the author)

Twas the Night Before Newtonmas

Twas the night before Newtonmas and all through the town

The day's noise was quieting as the bustle died down

The apples were hung on the on the pine tree with care,

In hopes that Sir Isaac soon would be there.

The children were dreaming all quiet in bed

Where visions of differentials danced in each head.

I had just settled in for a long google search,

With my wife reading beside me it was quiet as church.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I rose up in my desk chair to see what was the matter.

Pushing back with my chair wheels I sped and I twirled

Reaching the window I stared out at the world

The moon, with the albedo of the new-fallen snow,

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my searching eyes should appear,

But an natural philosopher and and his insights so clear.

This elderly driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Isaac

More rapid than comets his coursers they came

As he nodded and pointed and called them by name!

Fly planets and comets! Obey the same laws!

Without opposing action fly without pause!

Throughout the wide Universe its all the same thing.

From apples to great stars of order I sing!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

Defying gravity mount to the sky.

So he'd change their direction by applying a force

Lifting the sled, and Sir Isaac, of course

And then, in a twinkling, I heard, in truth,

The scratching of quill pen on paper as he thought on the roof

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Newton came with a bound.

He was dressed with white wig and red courtly suit

Now somewhat tarnished with coal tar and soot.

His Natural Philosophy he'd tucked 'neath his arm

Not like the young boy on his dad's apple farm

He started to lecture and droned on and on

On topics from gravity to chromatic aberration.

In no time at all I started to nod, perhaps even sleep

My word! He was so boring even though he was deep.

When I awoke he was muttering of alchemic mystery

And getting quite vocal on Biblical history.

Still feeling somewhat groggy I presumptively made

A statement to change his direction and end his tirade.

I asked what he thought of Pope's poem

For the stones 'neith Westminsters dome

"Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night;

God said 'Let Newton be' and all was light"

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

I think the old fellow knew he was boring,

Even though his topics were exciting and soaring.

"I'm still the young boy bemused at the seas-shore

Playing with pebbles and seashells - no more.

Like me, the oceans of truth lie before you concealed.

Go seek them and leave them revealed.

He rose up the chimney violating his First Law

I guess if you make 'em you know every flaw.

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he sped out of view

"Impressed? Now watch me break Law Two!"