How do you cope with narcissistic brother moving to elderly father's town so can control?

Answer 1

Lawd, 1stly I have to say I am sorry. 1st take a deep breath and seriously reason with yourself all of the possible reasons why your brother would do this. Ask yourself,...what does your brother have to gain from making the move? Possibly land or money or to freeload. If indeed he is a narcissist, he will most definately have 100% selfish reasons as to why he is taking these actions. And I assume it is safe to assume he wont be there soley for the good of your father. 1. Figure out all possible motives your bro has, and work to dismantle them. 2.be as involved as possible to preserve both the safety and mental health of your father, regardless of the narcissist's point of view. 3. Calmly offer to your father the idea of him placing you as having power of attorney over him and his assets. This way your brother cannot use your father. You will have gained helpful protection for both your father and yourself.believe me when I say, your brother will either have this done where he has power of attorney or he will simply act as if he does. Do nothing, and watch him move in and do just this very thing. 4. How to cope! (Fact is...you have a battle ahead. You must be as diplomatic and logical as possible. What I mean is,...don't allow your brother to use your emotions against you. He will turn on the water full throttle and have you hold the hose to your nose for his amusement if you even reply in defense at his accusations; either by dreading up the past or by exaggerating current events as to cast shaddows over your motives. Narcissists tend to accuse you of the very thing(s) they have in their hearts to do. So listen carefully to what he may accuse you of, cause he is guilty of his very words and ghis will arm you for what he has planned. Narcissists believe they are above all law and they believe they are not subject to playing fair. Do what you can to not compete with him for your father's affection and favoritism. But do what is right and stand your ground. Narcissists hate it when you point out all their broken and unfulfilled promisses. If your brother says he will fix the Plumbing, give him a time frame for getting it done and when he doesn't,...politely point it out and hire someone to do nit or do it yourself and believe me,...write everything down. Cause things by the dozen pile up with people like this. And keeping it fresh will keep you organized for your blow out calm straight forward confrontation. Narcissists hate to be wrong or even look wrong. They absolutely abhor facing their deficencies. Keep in mind that he will bash you behind your back every single chance he breaths to plant weeds of doubt and suspicion of you to your father. He will complain about you and do so in such a way as to make himself appear as a victim all the while leaching pity and support from your father. Just be happy and let it show. Do wonderful by your father and be supportive and overall positive. And this will get your brother steaming mad, and when he becomes desperate enough to start accusing you of falsified faults, just laugh at him like he is delusional amnd making it all up. Tell him to not get his panties in a wad and walk over to a half hug while smiling and laugjing and tell him 'love ya bro'! This will bnlow his mind and throw him off guard. He will be a volcanoe deep inside and will resort to backing off for a bit. But believe me when I say,...as soon as you express anger and mysery, he will pounce on you for the kill and sh*t on everything you have accomplished for the safety and happiness of your family. Narcissists hate confident dependable people and wither in their company. Be happy, sweet, posistive and definately be there for your father. Make everything about your father. Never inquire about your brother's personal hings. You will be tempted to get friendly and personal and to show an interest in his day to day stuff. If you do this and start to believe for one single moment that now you two are friends,...WRONG! He will manipulate you. He will never share true information about himself. He will give you bs about his personal relationships and personal interests and latest activities and he will aleays exaggerate his deeds tp glorify himself. Then by him pretending to share himself with you, he will presume you owe him the same. He will probe you for details and he will make sure you feel obligated to share. This will only serve as his arsenal against you. If you mention anything about hobbies, where you hang out, or a silly thing you did, believe me, he will blow it out of preportion and your father will hear the Freddy Kruger version of the truth. You will be black balled asap. I worked with a female police officer who is a bonified narcissist who raised a 100% narcissist that I also dated. Between the two of them and what I learned from college,...wipe your back end with what they say. Don't believe the marcissist! Be on a silent defense. Search for possible motives in what they are really after. Always know they are the only person breathing in their own personal world and no one else exists period. They do anything for their own personal benefit. Search his words for his true intensions, cause he will outwardly straight up accuse you of the very things he secretly has in mind to act on. And the best way go win and protect yourself with a narcissist is to ignore them. In your case you can't straight up ignore him, but you can definately be a radiant nurturing calm happy beneficial daughter for your father. You can still be so wonderful that no matter what the rotten roach says behind your back,...your actions and loving hugs will speak louder than his backstabbing lies. This will rot him inside out and hopefully he will be exposed when you keep your cool and brother fails to ruin your reputation. Because he will definately seek to get your dad to not want anything to do with anyone. Narcissists seek to single out their victim and then drain them. I do wish you the best! Try to see the simple reasons behind his actions. He will become predictable and if he sees his failings, he may give up and simply pull a Ceasar! (Abandon the mission without facing the failure)!