Trust once broken cannot be restored, making accomodations and adjustments to reconcile differences can be made, but under no circumstances the condition can returen back to absolute normal. A realtionship is like a resilient string, its delicate yet strong, once broken, in the reconciled realtionship the knot prevails like a sore in life.
It is extremely important that the couple are mature enough to realize that the children simply see their 'mom and dad' and love them both and often do not understand problems their parents have in their lives. Therefore, if you must discuss the affair send the children to the grandparents; another relative in the family or go on a mini vacation where you can have two or three days to discuss the affair and what both of you are going to do about it. Since the spouse that had the affair has broken that strong bond of trust with their spouse it will take time for them to earn that trust back. Meanwhile, put your hurts and anger aside when around the children and seek marriage counseling where the counselor will give the spouses tools to not only deal with why one spouse feels the need to have had an affair, but also how to deal with the children.
First be caring, get your spouse to see a doctor you trust. Also be encouarging.
you can move on but you will never get over it or trust them ever again!
Marriage is based on trust. If there are trust issues, you need to deal with that immediately. As far as friendships go, your friendships should not have to be limited based on your spouse's emotional problems.
AnswerRespect, communication, trust, love, and honesty. Probably too much to ask for but that's the deal with me at least.
People are only human and make mistakes so if this is the first time your spouse has cheated on you and they are willing to go to marriage counseling to learn tools to deal with problems in the marriage then yes, there are marriages that survive an affair and end up being stronger for it.
If your spouse refuses to get Mental health treatment you need to leave and seek a counselor yourself to deal with your emotional issue incurred from the abuse. as hard as it is and as much as we think it will kill us...it won't...but our spouse might...
that's crazy..... if i was you i would tell him to consider your feeling and that you feel uncomfortable with him speaking to his ex that he was with for 3 years and if he ask you to trust him and all that B.S tell him that you trust him with your life but that's not the issue the issue is that this woman is trying to take you away from me and your too blind or stupid to see. or you can always tell him to choose either you or her if you really want to make it into a big deal
When either the wife or husband has cheated then they have broken that bond of trust and it can take a long while to earn that trust back. When someone chooses to have an affair they hurt their spouse a great deal because it is simply saying to them 'I don't respect you; you make me so unhappy I have to find someone else.' The best medicine in a marriage is good communication skills and both partners should be able to sit down and talk about their feelings openly. No marriage is perfect and during the course of a marriage one spouse will let the other down in many ways, but that does not mean they don't love their spouse, but simply means they are not perfect. No one is perfect and if we can't possibly know ourselves 100% then we cannot know another 100%. Both men and women that are victims of their spouse having an affair are not that interested in intimacy right away because all they can think of is their mate cheating with another woman or man and why? The spouse feels there are in competition with the person their spouse had an affair with. The marriage will be unbalanced for either several months to possibly a year or more if they both work at it. Marriage counseling can help to get to the root of the problems in the marriage. Sometimes it simply boils down to the fact that one or both of the spouses are immature when they expect their marriage not to go through some bumpy times and it certainly gives them no cause to cheat. As far as having privacy the trust is earned; then the victimized spouse feels more secure and will let their spouse go out with friends on the odd occasion or give their spouse more room for privacy. Meanwhile the spouse who cheated can make an effort to include his/her spouse (quality time) going for dinner; dancing; movies, etc., which will help them become more intimate. The cheating spouse can always go to another room; have a hobby at home; go on the computer, etc., until they have earned the right of trust from their spouse.
When a spouse gives their other spouse all their love; trust and loyalty they always feel their spouse will do the same so when the spouse has an affair it comes as a shock to the other spouse. It is heartbreaking; that treasured bond of trust you once had in your spouse has gone and not easily earned back. It is normal to envision your cheating spouse being with someone else and enjoying themselves and it makes you question yourself as far as 'did I do something wrong; perhaps not enough and I let my partner down'; 'is our sexual relationship not good enough and did I do anything wrong; to 'does my cheating spouse think I am not attractive enough' or in some cases 'have I lost my looks and I'm too old and they don't want me anymore.' This makes the victim of a cheating spouse feel insecure and eventually they become angry and resentful and find it difficult to forgive their spouse for the cheating; the victim cannot feel sympathy for their spouse; the victim has a deep seated urge to pay back their cheating spouse for all the hurt he/she caused them and this in turn involves a poor sexual relationship because the victim feels when their cheating spouse is making love they are still thinking of the other person they cheated with. Marriage counseling can help, but it is entirely up to you (you hold the power) to either move on from the marriage or see a marriage counselor to learn the tools to deal with any problems in your marriage, but it takes the both of you to make it work. As far as your trust in your spouse it will take time and it is entirely up to them to earn that trust again.
both of you and your spouse should see a therapist if your spouse repeatedly turns you on and then falls asleep.
You deal with the remorse you feel after your spouse affair by turning that remorse into a lesson learned and realize that people are only human but, if they are remorseful then it means they have a conscience and they will better themselves in life. No one is perfect, but humans making mistakes can learn from those mistakes to become a much better person. Life is fairly simple if one is paying attention when it comes to a mate .. honesty; loyalty; good communication skills and work at the relationship. No one said being with a steady spouse whether married or living with each other would be easy and it takes work.