0
How do you fix the situation if your husband is abusive but he's also a cop in the military?
Wiki User
∙ 18y ago
Stats show that many men in especially the police force have a high rate of abusive behavior towards their wives. Some men of authority in the military can be extremely controlled in nature and pass this off onto their wife and children. This is not uncommon at all. Don't let the fact that your husband is a police officer or in the military stop you from getting away from him. He's using this fact against you. He's making you believe you don't stand a chance against him. Not true! When a police officer takes his oath and one in the armed forces as well it means just that, and any person, be in man or woman in such a position who dishonors their badge or their country is in for big trouble. They can stand to lose everything because if caught, they will disgrace both forces. If your husband is physically abusive and you have any fresh wounds, black eyes, split lip, bruising, etc., please have a friend take pictures of these marks on your body (be sure the camera has a date setter on it so it will show on the picture when developed.) This is evidence! If you have ever been to a hospital for broken bones (even a military hospital) a lawyer can get these records released for court. If your husband is just verbally abusive and controlling your life by it, then tape him! Hide a small tape somewhere in the house. Many people think that tapes are not admissable in court, but many judges can and often will allow it to be heard. Remember the OJ Simpson case? While your husband is not home, make a plan. First off, don't make excuses for this man!!!! Yes, being a police officer is very hard mentally, and also being in the military these days is enough to upset the strongest, but it's still no excuse to abuse women or children for that is the very thing they are doing their jobs for....to PROTECT! Don't think you can get this man help! His mind has been shaped well in the dicipline area by both these forces and he's not about to change and some men in these forces abuse this power of authority. It's time you thought about yourself! Next, pack a light suitcase and hide it. Be sure you have the basics and any personal things you need because it can be some time before you will be back to get the rest and it may not be there when you go back. DON'T TRUST ANYONE, BUT THE ONE FRIEND YOU CHOOSE TO HELP YOU! If you can, get a good girlfriend to take you to a pay phone or use her cell to call a "Women's Abuse Center" and if you can't find that go to a Transition House and they will help you out. The Transition House is geared for helping women of abuse, they will protect you, they will help you in various ways and you have a place to stay. You will receive councelling, have a doctor check you over and also receive legal council. NO ONE is allowed into these Transition Houses with the exception of any employees working there and the women of abuse. They will eventually help you find a "safe place" and no one knows where you are. If this is difficult information to find out then phone your Mental Health and they will help you. IF YOU LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN, GO TO ANOTHER TOWN TO DO THIS. I know it makes it extremely difficult for you with your husband not only being in the police force, but also in the military, but it can be done. Chances are he won't bother coming after you because he won't want to risk losing his position in either, and he won't risk being found out and embarrassed. Men who abuse are actually weak and have probably come from an environment of abuse themselves. They only feel safe when they can control those around them and since none of us can control life in general, the abuser will pick the weakest person and the most fragile which is their wife, children or both. Believe it or not many abusers hate themselves for what they do and it even enrages them more. These people need help! You can't help them! Only a professional can, so it's time for you to move on into a brighter and more safer environment. Don't feel sorry for your husband, don't make excuses for him and don't stay! Be strong! Good Luck God Bless Marcy
Wiki User
∙ 18y ago
Add your answer:
Earn +20 pts
What hardships did Saint Monica confront?
Monica had an abusive and unfaithful pagan husband and a son who rejected Christianity and led a profligate life. Her mother in law as also in the household and she was also abusive to Monica.
What to do in a psychologically abusive situation?
Whatever the abuse, you must respond to it. Not only will it limit the abuse but it will also make you feel better.
What do you do if both husband and wife are abusive to each other but different forms of abuse?
The husband and wife should both go to individual therapy (not couple's counseling- that can be dangerous for someone in an abusive relationship) to help them deal with their separate issues. They can also each go to a different batterer's intervention course if they are willing.
How do you not go back to abusive husband?
It took me nearly six years to get out of my relationship with my ex-husband. He was incredibly abusive. The only way I've found that I've been able to successively keep myself away from my ex is to make sure I prosecuted him through the court system. I also got a full order of protection (aka restraining order) against him. I finally went through with my divorce. And, I called on all my friends and family for support. There are days I want to just walk right back into the entire situation, but I have to look at what it did to me. In the relationship, I lost myself. Once you rid yourself of an abusive husband, the most important thing is to find YOURSELF again. Once you find yourself, you will find the courage to stay out of his life.
Was Hera's husband also her brother?
Yes. The Greeks did not approve of this situation for mere mortals, but it was deemed ok for gods.
You do not want to live with your abusive husband but could not find courage to leave with your 2 year old son what should you do?
Leaving is the first step, so until you work up the courage to leave, nobody can help you. All it takes is for you to walk out the door and go to a good friend or family member's house (there are also many homes that provide refuge for people in your situation).
Are there any resources for teenage runaways that will not forcibly return them to abusive home?
Interesting question...your question assumes that the runaway is from an abusive home. Please first investigate this carefully. I am the mother of a Bipolar daughter who is a habitual runaway and will tell any kind of lie to stay out on her own. I know many kids come from abusive backgrounds, but many are also mentally ill and have families that love them. Please consider this for your situation. God Bless!
Who provided military protection for the head of the manor?
The lord of a manor was responsible for the military protection of everyone on it, and was also duty bound to aid the king militarily, as needed. The lord might have had a bodyguard to protect him. He might have had a garrison, if the situation called for it. Or he might have had no one designated for his protection, if the situation was peaceful.
What do you do if your husband is emotionally and physically abusive and you just bumped into an old boyfriend and you are tempted to cheat?
==One thing at a time== If your husband is truly abusive (you're not just looking for an excuse to wander), then you need to get out of the relationship, and fast! Once you have removed yourself from the abusive relationship, and have a chance to reflect on the reasons you chose a man like that, and also the reasons for remaining in the relationship once you found out that he was abusive, then...and only then, you should feel free to look for, and engage in, other relationships. If your old boyfriend truly cares about you, he will understand and give you the space you need to work through your present problems. Good luck. Bugger off with the old flame if you've got any sense.
How do you prove if your mentally abusive husband as a psycho to others?
You shouldn't have to proove anything to anyone. You should be open with your family and friends and put it out there your not comfortable and being abused. If you have and voicemails, or text messages you can always present them. You can also record anything when you know something is about to happen. If you have a mentally abusive physcho husband, you should get out of the relashonship, take your kids, and get a restraining order againsted him. There are plenty of hotlines, and websights you can go to that specialize on your case and i think they could help you greatly.
I am leaving my abusive husband and how do I get help to move?
Depending on how abusive your husband is and how far he will go it is wise to have male family members or even the police accompany you while you remove your contents from where you live. Do not attempt this alone! You can also call the Abused Women's Shelter where you can go and explain your circumstances and they will put you into a Safe House with other abused women and your husband will not know where you are. They will help you with the process of getting your contents from the house; legal advice (also will provide legal counsel in a court of law) and will help you find a job. In return they do expect you to take programs to learn tools to help yourself and become independent and know the danger signs of any male who is abusive. Many women go back to their abusive boyfriends or husbands because they have been told enough they are useless and the woman is left with little confidence so it's important to seek help from the Abused Women's Shelter. You can phone your Mental Health in your town for the number of the Women's Shelter.
Are spankings useful?
They can be if done the right way, but they can also be abusive.
