How do you get the love of your life back if you left him many times but he always begged back but this time he is verbally abusive?

MORE INFO FRM AALIYAH: me and him were together for a year and spent days together but because i was 2 years older than him (he was 18) he kept hurting me and acting immature, he used to mess around with girls behind my back so i used to leave him and after a certain amount of time i totally lost trust and overreacted constantly, but that was because of the mistakes he made. i made a few but he was alot worse, but he is very arrogant and could never see things from my point of view. i was so brainwashed at one point i used to beg and cry and try to reason with his faithfulness thus alowing him to continue to treat me badly. But both of us know we both acted stupid and loved each other like crazy, even his mother and everyone else knew he loved me to bits and was obsessive but after a point i started lieing back to him and i think i drove him away further, anyway he has a new girlfriend now and even thought his friends and family told me he doesnt like her that much, im scared he has fallen for her. i really love him to bits and know if we both had a clean slate it would work. i have left him over 17 times in one year and he always comes back begging but this time he said he wont, he says hes sick and tired of being accused and always running back to me and when i tried to call him he is extremely insulting and cruel. i no this is his way of dealing with it but cant he see that if i have taken this much i must really love him? he has had a very very bad childhood and i no him well, he has a viscious tongue and is not only spiteful to me but also his mum and other close people he loves, that's y i take his abuse. but he really hates me now because i have lied to him about something, nothing to do with faithfulness, but he jus thinks im someone different now to the girl he met, but he doesnt realise i changed because he drove me to it becasue of his lying and fooling around. how can i make him but understanding and at least talk to me?

Answer

What were the reasons that you left him so many times? It doesn't sound as if those problems between you two have been resolved.

This means it will continue to be a cycle of reconciliation, arguments, and break ups if you make the choice to go back to him. You can't get back what you never had--which was a healthy, non abusive relationship with this guy. It may be healthier for you to make a clean break of things and keep this guy out of your life.

Wake UP!

If he's verbally abusive, it's only a matter of time before he becomes physically abusive. What you REALLY need to do is to find someone else, even if that's NOT the answer you wanted to hear. Trust me... there will be SEVERAL people out there that will fit the description "Love of your Life!" There are plenty of fish in the ocean, my Mom used to say. You can do better. Don't sell yourself short, and don't put yourself in an abusive relationship. It WON'T get better!

Answer

At this point, give it a rest and see if absence makes the heart grow fonder. There is alot of resentment floating around. Apparently there are issues that are hindering the growth of the relationship. Why leave and go back many time, anyway, it seems that mayber you two are not meant to be together. It seems as though you two have made a habit of making each other miserable so cut your ties and move on with your lives, your wasteing precious time.

Answer

THANKS GUYS ITS AALIYAH, THIS IS WHY I AM DEVASTED AND TOO WEAK TO LET GO:its Aaliyah again, i think you are all right, he has said very evil things to me like 'i hope u gt raped' and spread cruel lies about me, i found that out today, but i find it hard to let go, i dnt think i do, bt i think i have borderline personlity because no matter how evil he is to me i still love him and want him back, i think its because, lets say he insults me and puts me down, i will feel very very low as i am very insecure and then i think to make myself feel good again i used to take him back to make myself feel worthless again, its like since i was with him i lost who i am and depend on every1 else and mainly his opinion. i am a mess right now, and the only thing tht would make me happy is if he came begging back cos i love him so much. i am at university and away from home and all my flatmates and friends are in serious relationships and spend all time with there boyfriends, the other few male friends i had, my ex beat them up and most people that lived locally knew i was with him before and stay away, i cant even go home back to my home town as i have assignments and deadlines due every week. but i cant even do them , i cant study, all i do is cry and search on the net why he was cruel and cheated on me, i don't no what to do, im devasted. i love him so much but so far the advice u have given me is to stay away, but im so lonely, down, and have been comfort eating to make myself feel better. my friend from my home town came to visit, i was okay with her but when she left i was a crying mess. i loved him so much and he used to be absolutely head over heels for me, why did he turn so evil to me when i found out what he did behind my back, he should have valued me more??!