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How do you know if your marriage will survive after your spouse affair?
Mgodat
You don't. You have to make an educated guess based on your knowledge of your spouse's personality.
Wiki User
∙ 13y ago
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After your spouse affair is there any help to save your marriage?
When a spouse has had an affair and broken that bond of trust it is difficult to earn back. Going to marriage counseling may help the situation and explain to the spouse that marriage counseling is not about blaming one of the spouses, but giving them tools to learn to communicate in their marriage and know how to rectify any future problems in their marriage. Many couples may have experienced one spouse having an affair and it is not uncommon for both couples to have an affair, but, they do manage to save their marriage. It is entirely up to the couple.
How can you survive an affair of your spouse and save your self respect?
If this is a one time affair your spouse has had then 'to err is human' and if they are remorseful you have a greater chance of saving your marriage. Instead of worrying about your self respect realize that percentages of affairs between married couples is high and that you are not the only person dealing with this problem. Take the bull by the horns and let your spouse know that you are not putting up with another affair and the both of you should seek counseling. The Counselor is not there to blame one or both partners, but to give the couple tools to help them through their marriage problems. Keep your head high because you were not the one that cheated and no matter how high the statistics of one spouse cheating on another it is still unacceptable in society. If your spouse has cheated more than once then pack then you are far better to file for divorce because the statistics are high they will cheat again.
How do you know when to give up marriage?
When your spouse cheats on you.
Is separation after your spouse has had an affair be good for your marriage?
Yes, often times a separation is a good thing when one spouse has had an affair. It gives each spouse a chance to stand back and reflect on how they feel and if they really love their spouse or whether to move on from the marriage. Once a spouse has cheated it is difficult to earn the trust back from the other spouse. Perhaps put a few months limit on the separation and then meet to discuss how both of you feel about each other. The quote, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' may apply in this case. Sometimes spouses don't know how lucky they are and how much they love their spouse until they are no longer there.
Is it common for a spouse who has been repeatedly cheated on to have an affair of their own but still want to stay in the marriage?
I don't know how common it is but it is certainly possible. Sometimes they may believe that if they have an affair they may be able to get over the fact of what has been done to them and in most cases it does not work.
How can someone balance privacy with intimacy inside the marriage after the affair?
When either the wife or husband has cheated then they have broken that bond of trust and it can take a long while to earn that trust back. When someone chooses to have an affair they hurt their spouse a great deal because it is simply saying to them 'I don't respect you; you make me so unhappy I have to find someone else.' The best medicine in a marriage is good communication skills and both partners should be able to sit down and talk about their feelings openly. No marriage is perfect and during the course of a marriage one spouse will let the other down in many ways, but that does not mean they don't love their spouse, but simply means they are not perfect. No one is perfect and if we can't possibly know ourselves 100% then we cannot know another 100%. Both men and women that are victims of their spouse having an affair are not that interested in intimacy right away because all they can think of is their mate cheating with another woman or man and why? The spouse feels there are in competition with the person their spouse had an affair with. The marriage will be unbalanced for either several months to possibly a year or more if they both work at it. Marriage counseling can help to get to the root of the problems in the marriage. Sometimes it simply boils down to the fact that one or both of the spouses are immature when they expect their marriage not to go through some bumpy times and it certainly gives them no cause to cheat. As far as having privacy the trust is earned; then the victimized spouse feels more secure and will let their spouse go out with friends on the odd occasion or give their spouse more room for privacy. Meanwhile the spouse who cheated can make an effort to include his/her spouse (quality time) going for dinner; dancing; movies, etc., which will help them become more intimate. The cheating spouse can always go to another room; have a hobby at home; go on the computer, etc., until they have earned the right of trust from their spouse.
Do you need to know all the details of the affair?
That could be entertaining! Go for it! ANSWER: STOP, you will be making a huge mistakes. Yes it will help some but if you will rebuild your marriage, with your spouse it's not going to be easy. This affair that he or she did will stay with you for a long time. Your mind will always be in that place and it will hunt you. It will not stop because your heart is still broken and you don't have the trust. Let God solve the pain that your spouse gave you. Always remember sooner or later what goes around, comes around. Think about it and all you can do is tell your spouse your feeling, your pain, and let time heal it for you..
How will you feel if your spouse compared you to his affair partner?
No woman would want to be compared to their spouse's affair partner. When a spouse does this they are getting even for having to stay with their spouse. It hurts and cuts deeply when the cheating spouse makes comments about how much better their affair partner was. Take control and let your spouse know immediately you are not going to put up with their childish behavior and if their affair partner is so great then tell him/her (no matter how hard it is for you) that you will file for divorce as you deserve better.ANSWER:It will be a pleasure to answer this question because it did happened to me personally. When I discovered my husband's affair, I had found out that his not only admired this woman but he fell in love with her. And that is why he compared me to his "friend" aka mistress. The day he compared me to her was the day that I know, no matter how much we wanted to rebuild the relationship it will not work with me anymore. I will not be the second choice after his affair..
How do you provide transperency to a spouse after an affair?
Cheating on a spouse is one of the most terrible things that can happen to a marriage. While it is true there are marriages that can survive an affair, the fact is many marriages cannot recover from this type of betrayal. If you are one of the lucky ones whose spouse is willing to give the marriage another try after discovering an affair, one of the first steps you'll need to take is to offer complete transparency. This will be a crucial part of the healing process and will play a significant role in regaining the trust of your spouse. Oddering your partner complete transparency after an infidelity is essential to the healing process. A huge breach and mistrust is likely going to be running rampant on the part of your loved one. After learning of an infidelity many partners have a lot of difficulty believing anything that is said and may experience levels of panic when they don't know what you are doing or where you've been. And providing transparency can help increase trust over a period of time and play a significant role in the healing process post- affair.
Why do married men who have a perfect marriage and relationship still choose to have an affair?
Not all married men have affairs and those that do have reasons of their own. Some men no matter how successful their marriage is may begin to feel around 40 years of age and on that they want to know they are still attractive to other women; other men feel somewhat bored in their marriage and are titillated by sneaking around having an affair. No matter what the reason it is wrong to cheat on a spouse and if the husband is that bored or does not love his wife then he should have the guts to face his spouse and ask for a separation or divorce.
Why is it when the flashback of spouse affair she feels like it just happen yesterday?
When a man cheats on his wife he has broken the bond of trust and has deeply hurt his wife. She is hurt because she trusted him and thought he loved her and she is hurt and angry over the thought of her spouse sneaking out and having an affair making her look like a fool. That memory will always be with the wife, but, if they try at their marriage it may be saved if the cheating spouse is willing to know a good thing when he has it. People who cheat on their spouses always lose in the end.
How can you be certain that your spouse will not go behind your back and cheat again?
If it was a one time affair then there is more hope that cheating will not occur again. Individuals do not know themselves 100 percent so no one can predict 100 percent if a mate will cheat again. There is one way to do this and this is to seek marriage counseling to help the marriage to become stronger and if the spouse that is cheating resists then they may well cheat again.
