How do you move on when you're still in love with someone even though you saw the truth about them with your own two eyes?

Answer 1

When you split up with someone you love (doesn't matter who split up with who) it's a form of grief. We often associate grief with death, but it comes in many forms: Losing a love because he/she abandoned you Someone you love cheating on you Someone you love being a compulsive liar Someone you love doing drugs Someone you love being mentally/physically abusive towards you OR Losing your home to fire, floods, tornados Losing a beloved pet either by them going missing or death Separation of parents from yourself Rape, childhood sexual abuse, or abuse of any type Trauma Each one of us has had at least one heartbreak and there is a grieving period to go through. Don't linger too long! Although there is no time on grief, we must struggle to stand up on our own two feet, dust ourselves off and face the world again. You'll be glad you did on this one, because you have seen clearly what this person is made up of and you don't like it. Remember, there are so many other guys/girls out there that are terrific. Look at the world as a "learning field" and not something to be afraid of. We all make mistakes and the reason we do is because that's the only way we learn and this helps us to protect ourselves from future harm, to know what people to trust or not trust and in the end, hopefully to pick one of the good people for our partner in life and that also goes for picking out good, steady and loyal friends. It's survival of the fittest. The pain will go away eventually if you dust yourself off, be proud of the fact you saw this person for what they were, (consider yourself lucky you did find out now) and start going out with your friends and having some fun because that's how you meet that someone special that will be in your life for many years to come. I was married before to a cheater and a mental/physical abuser and it took me 3 1/2 years to figure it out. Once I did I didn't beat myself up forever and I sure as heck cried a lot and felt pretty empty inside. At one point I even blamed myself and felt if I'd been a better wife then I would have kept him and he wouldn't have had to cheat on me. Now how crazy is that? You bet it's the wrong way to think. No matter what the problems are between two people each one has a choice to get out of that relationship on their own steam if they don't like what is going down at the time. If we stay, then we become a statistic and nothing more. If we see what is wrong, try to work it out and the other party is trying or doesn't want to work it out and we leave ... leaving is setting yourself free. In time, you will feel like a caged bird that has been set free and because you have had the guts to see what this other person is really all about you will grow stronger and stronger until you won't fear much of anything life has to throw in your face. You hang in there and I am so proud of you for taking this stand. If haven't left leave!!!! Don't grow weak now! You had a relationship with this person and all you are missing are a FEW good times and nothing else. The love for this person has long ago faded and you just haven't realized it yet. Good luck Marcy