How do you tell a person that he or she is pathetic?

Answer 1

I'm sure you don't mean pathetic literally. Patheticmeans deserving pity, although one sense of the word means inspiring scornful pity, as a drug addict in withdrawal. If you are using pathetic is some unusual or colloquial sense, it would help to know exactly what you mean. The English language is a rich and powerful one, so I'm sure an adequate word exists. Having said that, you should keep in mind one thing: there are two types of criticism, one designed to tear people down and the other designed to build people up and improve them. If you wish to criticize the person in an effort to make him a better person, then the best way to deal with it is directly, face-to-face, and as sympathetically as you can. It may not go over well, no matter how well-intentioned you are, so be prepared for some defensiveness, if not outright hostility. One day, he (or she) may appreciate your efforts to help. Unless you are a good friend of someone, you probably should not consider any character-building such as what is suggested above.

You should not tell a friend that he or she is 'pathetic,' because calling someone names does nothing to help them improve.

If, as I suspect, you actually want to push someone away from you, and it's their attempts to get close to you that seem 'pathetic,' I would just firmly rebuff their efforts - no you don't want to go out with him, no you do not want to go over to his or her house after school/work or whatever. Your question implies you don't want to be hurtful; what you have to do is reject them kindly, not meanly. 'No, sorry.' 'No, thank you.' 'Please don't call me any more.'