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How do you tell your partner he is being verbally abusive and what is the most productive way to handle his reaction?
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
There are two ways to approach it. I call them the submissive and the conflictive postures.
You have to just tell him calmly that the way he talks to you really bothers you and you feel it is a bit abusive. If he begins to yell and call you names, tell him that is the behavior you are talking about and you don't want to talk to him when he is like that. You really want to talk to him and work it out, but you won't talk to him when he is like that. And you and he can talk more when he calms down. Offer to get counseling with him if you feel he isn't stopping on his own. Sometimes people grow up being verbally abused and don't really know it. Then they verbally abuse, but don't realize it is abusive because it is "normal" to them. Talking to him and telling him how you feel about it may help, but it also may not.
Wiki User
∙ 8y ago
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If a controlling verbally abusive man gets a different partner will he exhibit the same behaviors with the new partner as with the old one?
Yes, unless he has been through counseling or therapy.
If you are being verbally and physically abused what can you do if he thinks it's your fault because you push his buttons?
Blaming the victim, or partner is one of the many ways the abusive person uses to confuse the victim and/or to make it "seem" acceptable. Please read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans and visit www.drirene.com for more information.
Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if with a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?
It is highly unlikely that man who does not have an abusive personality will become an abuser if their partner grew up in an abusive home and refuses help. Good men know they should never hit a woman which in some cases can lead to male abuse by a woman. The stress of being around an abusive person be it verbally or physical abuse is bound to have effects on the non abusive partner, but most men will only take so much and have the opportunity of leaving the relationship.
Is spitting at my partner considered as domestic violence?
No, it's just gross.----It isn't unless you combine it with other physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually abusive behavior.YES it is Domestic Violence
Is it possible to have a relationship where your partner is verbally abusive occassionally over stupid things?
Yes. Verbal abuse is when someone says something to you that you can't say back to them. It's not what some calls you...it's what you answer to.
Why was he trying not to be abusive but he was?
Men who are abusive generally have learned this from the environment in which they grew up. Some men have a short fuse and blast off with either verbally abusive words or they become physically abusive with their partner. Some men know deep inside it is wrong, but don't know how to get help and most men refuse to seek psychological counseling because it makes them feel weak and not masculine. If he refuses to get help then you have the power to get out of the abusive relationship.
Why does an abusive boyfriend get mad when you allow your ex-husband to get you upset?
Because he is abusive. Partner abuse is a treatable sickness, but not always curable. Staying with an abusive partner does not help them to become a better person.
Does Cannabis make your partner abusive?
No...it should make them lethargic...they were abusive before the drugs.
What accusations are harmful in a divorce?
Here are a few, but the most popular: * The partner is an alcoholic * The partner is on drugs * The partner is constantly cheating * The partner has been abusive verbally or physically. * Being abusive verbally or physically with the children. * Being sexually abusive with any of the children in the family. * Not paying taxes on their own business they may be running. * Not paying normal taxes like everyone else. * Belonging to a gang and acting out criminal acts. * Selling drugs or fire arms for illicit purposes. * Serving time or has served time in prison (depending on the crime.) * Refusing to pay child support. I could go on, but these are the most important ones. Beware not to use any of these excuses for a speedy divorce because you and your lawyer have to prove it in a court of law. To accuse a partner of sexually abusing children is hard to prove, but it's the lowest form of a human being to do so if it's not true. It can ruin the partner's life and perhaps they will lose their job or a position at work.
How can you trust your husband not to be controlling and verbally abusive?
http://www.coping.org/relations/boundar/intro.htm The above URL might be helpful in determining healthy boundaries in a relationship so that you can recognise such boundaries, set them and maintain them should you be in what is an abusive or controlling relationship. One does not passively *trust* that a partner will not be "controlling" or "verbally abusive" whatever promises may be made and however contrite the emotionally abusive partner may be. Rather, it is our responsibility to ensure we recognise what does and does not promote our emotional wellbeing and that we take steps to set and maintain limits to ensure our own emotional safety. It is important to know ourselves and our limits and to clearly, clamly and assertively convey those limits to others and ask that they be respected. Obviously, if a partner cannot or will not recognise our limits we must take steps to protect ourselves. If we are committed to the relationship in question, then we may try avenues such as counselling to alter the destructive dyamics within a relationship. However, if a partner is unwilling to confront the problems and to make lasting changes via intervention, then we must put an end to the relationship with an abusive partner for the sake of self-preservation.
Is it good to go back to an abusive partner?
No, absolutely not.
Are there books and videos available for verbally abusive men who want to change?
* The best way for an abused man to move on from a verbally abusive relationship is to seek counseling. Just like women, men may have lost their self respect; feel demeaned and ashamed (they are suppose to be the stronger sex) and he needs to find out why he stayed so long in the abusive relationship. Without proper counseling just like women, men can choose another abusive partner in the future and don't have the tools to tell when rag flags go up that the person they are with is controlling at best and the worst .. verbally or even physically abusive. Men have been brought up to not hit women, so it is very often hard for the man to make sense as to why he put up with the abuse for so long. Men can be victims of abuse too and they should not blame themselves.
