How does the narcissist come by his uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others as Sam Vaknin describes?

Answer 1

There is no specific victim that succumbs to a narcissist. The N usually begins as a dream come true - pursues you, cares about you, wants you. Then when you start to get to know the N, you begin to see very strange things about him which eventually develop into major personality problems. I cared very much for the N I was involved with and I believed unwisely that I could help him. I was duped....he used me badly, physically and mentally abused me and had the uncanny ability to lead a totally separate life while we were dating...to include planning and carrying out ways to be with other women. Mature, caring adults just don't do those types of things. The N has many negative traits that include very dangerous, unhealthy reactions within his or her tumultuous, crazy lifestyle, i.e. paranoia, schizophrenic episodes, rage, envy, sexual promiscuity, constant need for adoration and confirmation...and they literally take your strength and pull it into themselves. This is because they truly are empty shells. You need to steer clear of these types of people. They are not mentally equipped to care about others, this is the professional diagnosis. They can only exist for themselves. Such a pitiful waste, and I do not mean this sarcastically. They truly they do not know any other thought process, therefore they plot and intricately plan within their minds to get as much from you as possible until you are no longer useful. They use coercion, pathological lying, calculated manipulation, etc. Curing them is impossible, only a major life crisis or perhaps clinical help can TREAT it. Later, I will be sending an email address for you to use for research. Stay away from these people, healthy people are not equipped to be with a N if they want to be happy in a relationship, and it is for this very reason that we are so cruelly used, it is not within our realm of thinking to fashion our minds in such a manner. Believe me, an N will cause you to doubt your own sanity. I am currently recovering from major trauma with an N, 2.5 years loving him to no avail. I start my first mental health counseling next week. I am still in mourning, still shocked, but learning and getting better. And I will not gratify him one bit by ever acknowledging him again. I will heal, I will see this as a mental disease and hopefully forgive, but until then and I can still love again, praise God for Him for I know that I deserve and will have better. Stay strong, understand the personality disorder, and make your life centered around good, caring people who can love. I am very sorry if you are involved with one. Get out and never speak to him /her again. This is a great site to read about Narcissism and the courageous, brave people who are recovering from time spent with one. Peace...mbme As a child, many narcissists had a narcissistic parent and had to develop coping strategies to deal with the parent. As a result, they are quite sensitive to others in some ways...not empathy, mind you, but understanding subtleties of your psychological make-up. That's why they tune in so well in the beginning; they are collecting info on you. Also, it helps them manipulate you, just like they had to manipulate their N parent to get what they want.