If you are a lesbian and you were in denial and have a wonderful husband of 10 years with two kids whose lives you do not want to ruin what do you do?

Answer 1

Be very careful how you approach this because it will have a HUGE affect on your children. I think that you should get professional advice on how to tell your husband and children because telling him before the sessions may result in large arguments between the two of you in front of your kids. If he finds out before you tell him (a bad idea, but sometimes unavoidable), tell him about your sessions and how you were trying to find the right way to tell everyone because you didn't want to cause too much unnecessary pain/confusion. If he was as wonderful as you say, he'll understand when he eventually knows. However, I still believe that you will need help from a social worker/other professional advisor (in this sort of area) to go any further! Good luck.

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LOTS of different answers here, at least some of which should be on the discussion page. That's where I'm putting mine!

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No one can answer this question fully until they know things like:

- How your family gets on with lesbians/gay men.

- What you'd expect from your decision (what you eventually choose to do.)

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Well darling I can't help you with that, but your first step is to be true and open with your husband so tell him about who you really are and let him know the reasons to why you didn't tell him before that way he will understand and you will have the chance to live how you want and as who you are.

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I am a 39 yr old mother of two teenage daughters. I got divorced earlier this year, but for the last 3 years I have been seeing women on a casual basis. As I only worked Mon-Wed I was able to arrange and meet women on the Thursday or Fridays. I had no problem finding what I was after and enjoyed sex with women often. The women I'd meet were often gorgeous and a lot younger than me which is my taste.

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Well how about not following the typical liberal path and instead take some responsibility for what you have already done. "In denial" is a convenient excuse. It means you either knew before you got married and deliberately mislead your husband, or you decided after the fact that he wasn't so wonderful and wanted an out. Either way your wedding vows must have not meant much. I don't think there is a married couple alive that has everything be wonderful. But if you back out of everything you give your word to, what are you worth to anyone including yourself? The two answers above mine are a great example of only thinking of yourself. Divorce sucks! You absolutely will not come out ahead in any way. Trust me <><><>

This is one question for a profession and I suggest you seek counseling so you are sure how to handle this. There are children involved so it will be hard on your children if you divorce and then they will have to deal with the fact you are lesbian. Children should ALWAYS come first! As miserable as you may feel at least try to hang on until your children are old enough to handle this. Best thing to do, ask a professional. <><><>

There seems to be no way you can enjoy an emotional relationship with another woman without jeopardizing your family so go for a discreet, no strings attached, booty call. Who knows, you may find it's not really your thing.

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you'll ruin your life and ruin everybody elses life if you are not happy...you cant make your husband happy and therefore your children... :/ if you love and admire your husband you should tell the truth...and get over it...

Oh please, there is a lot of room - in the middle - for honesty and negotiation here. Good luck with it all.