If you have sole custody does your ex or his family need your permission to take your child out of state?

Yes. They need your permission. As the parent with full custody you have the right to make decisions that affect the child including trips out of the jurisdiction. You should also know where the child will be, how long she will be away and how to contact the people she will be with.

Yes they do. That's why you have sole custody. I would check with your local family court to see what the laws are exactly.