If your boyfriend is friends with an ex and tells you that you have nothing to worry about but he has never let you meet her and now has gone on a fishing trip with her what should you do?

Answer 1

I don't blame you one bit for being angry and upset. It's time to let this guy know that you aren't putting up with it. Even if you don't like fishing and didn't want to go with him hasn't he must have some buddies he can go with. He's pulling your chain and here is why:

Some guys have ex girlfriends or wives they have remained friends with, but they have no problem introducing them to their girlfriend or spouse. It is truly a friendship. Your boyfriend is conning you and if he had nothing to hide he would have been sure you had met her. I doubt she's even an ex or if she is, perhaps he's entertaining the thought of having his cake and eating it too. It's quite possible she knows nothing about you either. No matter if they are friends, other than coming over for dinner or meeting for a coffee he shouldn't be going on trips with her.

Your boyfriend sounds like he is leading a double life. You should be first and foremost in his life and you aren't. He's the one that is odd and it's just not right that he has gone off on this fishing trip with his ex (even if what he says is true.)

Here is what you do. You tell him if this is the way he wants it you are not going to be there when he gets back. That what he is doing is wrong and he knows it and you just didn't fall off the last turnip truck (meaning you aren't stupid.) Put your foot down! You deserve to be treated better. If you allow him to get away with this he will become sneakier and do far worse things, so hopefully nip this in the bud now and let him know he's not playing these games with you.

Here's a little story that recently happened with two of my friends (will use different names) Sue and Bob were married for 22 years. They lived in a smaller town and fishing and hunting were the thing to do. Sue wasn't into it so Bob would go fishing or hunting with his daughter, son or buddies. Then one day he decided to take this Carla. Sue, knowing her slightly thought nothing of it because it was only a 1/2 day fishing. Before Sue knew it these 1/2 day trips worked their way into 3 day trips and this meant Carla went camping in a tent in the wilderness with Bob. Bob and Sue would go to parties on the occasional weekend and Bob would spot Carla in that room like you'd find a tick on a white cloth. Bob hardly paid any attention to his wife Sue and never asked her to dance once. Eventually, Sue couldn't stay awake and at 3 AM would walk home while Bob and Carla danced and drank the night away. The end of this story is .... they got a divorce. It was sad.

What Sue should have done was nail his own hide (like he would a bear hide) to the wall and let him know he either straigtened up and flew right or he was history. She should have had the guts to have a nice sharp talk to Carla and Sue ended up looking like the fool in all of this.

So, again, please have that talk with your boyfriend and if he still is going on that trip with his ex, you owe him nothing! Leave! He's taking advantage of you and what he is doing is absolutely not right. Even if they were friends it isn't right for a guy who has a girlfriend or wife to take off fishing (or anything else) with another woman (this applies to the girls as well.)

Be strong, get mad, and don't take this crap!

Good luck Marcy

I say if he does not listen to your feelings on this, leave him. He is not respecting you. I know because my guy is doing the same to me with his ex. I have tried to talk to mine. He just feels bad, or so he says. I am seriously thinking of leaving him!

All my love to you, Lisy