If your boyfriend of 6 years is emotionally abusive and narcissistic and you are leaving him for the 4th time why do you now feel like it is your fault?

Answer 1

Since you have had 6 years of emotional abuse, your self esteem has taken a beating, you began a long time ago to believe that all the negative hurtful things you were even though they are not true. Emotional abusers are manipulative, very self centered. You were probably blamed for many things. You have been made to feel like many things have been your fault I am sure and now you have a good case of battered woman's syndrome which is like a post traumatic stress disorder. You do not need to be physically beat to be abused. No one has the right to abuse you. Love does not hurt if it does it's not love. Stay away this time , and try to find someone you can talk to about this. Good luck Kacy101 The above poster is correct, but narcissists are a tricky lot. They are extremely complex individuals. Narcissistic people love total control (much like an abuser) feel they are more intelligent than anyone else and are often perfectionists in character. In their own minds they have a difficult time finding people they feel are on the same intellectual level as they are, but in truth, if they did meet that someone they wouldn't be able to hold their own in that conversation in most cases. It doesn't really matter at this point what a narcissist is all about, but take refuge in this ... narcissists can be lonely and miserable people and relationships are hard to find for them. You have listened to the "guru of strife" for 6 years and basically have been brain-washed. You have been put-down and made to feel lesser than you are. Take that first step and keep going and start hanging out with friends and family that make you feel good about yourself. Before you know it he'll be history and you'll be a much stronger person by leaving him. You did nothing wrong! I think you're one strong gal, so get on with your life and leave this guy in the dust! You have to recognize the wisdom you had in leaving the first three times. It is not your fault for deciding to leave when the relationship is not right for you...but your partner is adept at making you feel that way! It is okay to feel guilty for doing the right thing, but do it anyway. And don't ever go back. I suggest you write down why you are leaving and keep it for reference when you are at all tempted to return to this ungrateful person. You need to move on to the great future that is surely there for you.