Yes, in your case I would say this isn't healthy for you at all. You just aren't abused and then skip off and find another man. Sounds to me like you are picking them older because you feel safer with them and feel because they are older they can't hurt you. You are so wrong! All of us could use a little tune-up on the old therapists couch every so often because we all have garbage tied to our butts. You have not dealt with your abuse and instead of concentrating on ANY relationship with a man, I hope you will seek therapy. The Abused Women's Center Programs are a good place to start. You are more physically and mentally abused than you realize and you need help to express your anger over this and get your independence back. Once you feel you are independent, don't need a man in your life then that's the time when you can get into a serious relationship. Good luck (good for you getting out of that abusive relationship!) Marcy Thanks. I gues you have helped me more than you know. I guess i am hurting still and looking to fill the void but i have faith in the healing proces. After i read your post i called a womans shelter and am going to go to a group session. thanks so much. Marcy, yes i do somehow think it will be safer with older men. My dream as corny as it sounds is to meet an intelligent older man who likes to read and keep active. One who has a curious mind. Instead I find older, but they are often lousy in bed, boring, mean and controlling. I still keep trying though, but since they are odler they think your not there for the long haul. They enver get it that I would stick around if they were kind. Anyhow, now Im not going to just go for a certain type. I am going to be more open and let life take me where it needs to. I called that cousellling group from a womens shelter,, that should help me more get away from being a victim. You made my day and I am so glad that you have called for help. You sound like a strong young woman and I know you are going to make it. Age really isn't a factor if you love each other, but I hear you when you mentioned you wanted a cozy time with a person of intellect. Well, you can have both! How about trying out college? Perhaps just one course, but at least you can find someone on the same intellectual level as yourself. That's not snobby at all. If you love reading you could join book clubs, etc. There is a way to meet the opposite sex that is interested in what you are. I have been told I am bright, I love to read, I'm interested in what people have to say and I've even learned a great deal off this board. You stay strong, and I know you are going to be just great! If you still meet an older man that's fine, but don't narrow your chances down and give a 35-40 year old guy a chance. I met my husband who is 4 years younger than me. I was surprised at his intelligence and we had so much to talk about. I was bored and frustrated with the men my age and they were lazy, didn't find any interests in life. So, there you go .... some young guys are smart! Good luck hon Marcy
* Humans dream every half hour, but seldom remember those dreams. However, if the person is stressed they can remember dreams which generally occur within seconds of waking up. If your relationship is in trouble or you may feel that your partner is cheating and have good reason to feel this way then it is normal to dream about ending the relationship. If your relationship is a healthy one and there seems to be no problem then you may just be fearful that it's just too good to be true. Don't put too much faith in your dreams. Keep yourself in the light of reality.
An abusive person tends to remain abusive unless they make a real effort to change. An abusive person will always be just that and no matter how much their new mate will agree with them they will still remain abusive. Abusive people either come from a family of abuse, something has happened to them in their lives that they are extremely angry at, and there is always a reason for the way they are. Sometimes it just comes down to the point that person is miserable and loves controlling their mate because they cannot control life in general. A relationship is about sharing each others dreams and opinions and the major one is respect. Neither mate should rule over the other, but share as best they can. It's a catch-22. Abusers despise submissive and obsequious people. But they also demand automatic and full compliance with their wishes and instructions.
The internet provides millions of opportunities to meet the man of your dreams, through the use of technology and date matching services. Women dating online should follow these simple tips to help ensure they can find a healthy relationship with someone who will love and care about them. When creating a profile picture for an online dating site, make sure you look your best in the photo. Men have nothing else to judge you by except your photo and your description, so improving both of these will help improve your chances of making sparks fly!
You probably have had dreams about your current relationship without realizing it. Dreams deal in symbols and metaphors, so a dream about something seemingly unrelated, such as a deep-flowing river, a faithful dog, or a fertile field might represent your relationship in a dream. Instead of focusing on the images, consider the emotions you felt in the dreams. The emotions are more likely than the images to match those in your relationship.
Wishful dreams of dating celebrities are very common, enjoyable and harmless. The minor factor of death has little to no significance, since dreams are not limited by the realities of real life. So one can enjoy carousing with John Wayne, Marilyn Monroe or Rudolf Valentino in dreams without concern for mundane limitations.
Among the most common types of dreams are: sexual dreams, wish-fulfillment dream, humiliation dreams such as the dreamer being naked in a public place, chase dreams that are about avoiding problems, falling dreams that suggest feeling out of control, grieving dreams when a loved one dies or a relationship ends, and change-of-life dreams when one stage of life ends and something new begins.
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