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Is it normal for friends and family to think that an abuse victim is just out to get her abuser when in reality the victim just wants her feelings validated?
Wiki User
∙ 18y ago
It's hard to believe, but there are so many people that just don't understand abuse. At one time I knew about abuse and I helped a couple of my girlfriends get out of abusive relationships, but I didn't actually witness it. Then I volunteered for the Abused Women's Center" and had my eyes really opened. It's an experience I am so glad I went through although it ripped my heart out at the same time. Sometimes we have to see the ugly side of life to really get to the core of problems. We can talk about it, even with those that suffer from certain situations, but until you see it with your own eyes and get involved then a person knows nothing. No! It's not normal for friends or family to think that you, as a victim of abuse is just out to get your abuser. If they were educated in abuse they would realize that most of the time the victim is terrified of her abuser, becomes subservient, withdrawn, lacks confidence and doesn't want to wake up the sleeping dragon (tick the abuser off in other words.) Of course you want your feelings validated. Why not! You've been either mentally/physically (or both) abused. Like small children's voices in the wind .... who will listen? Well, the "Abused Women's Center" does. You DON'T NEED VALIDATION FROM ANYONE! When you can, pack a bag and head for that Abused Women's Center in your area. Tell NO ONE where you are. They will put you in a "safe house" or "transition house" and keep you safe, get you on your feet, and, if need be help you with legal counsel. Hon, listen to your inner self. If you are being abused, then you know it! Run when you can. Don't listen to those that aren't there for you and move on from the whole mess. It isn't that family and friends don't care, but perhaps they simply don't understand that abuse is abuse and slapping, shoving, putting a person down is actually abuse. Rule of thumb to go by ... "When someone makes you feel bad 100% of the time it's time to leave them behind!" Good luck Marcy
Wiki User
∙ 18y ago
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What mental and physical signs are related to Stockholm Syndrome?
Positive feelings by the victim toward the abuser/controller Negative feelings by the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them or win their release Support of the abuser’s reasons and behaviors Positive feelings by the abuser toward the victim Supportive behaviors by the victim, at times helping the abuser Inability to engage in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment
What do you do when a verbal abuser distorts your reality such as you are sexuality?
Get rid of them and get counseling.
Why does your abuser want to be just friends but gets jealous when you go out with other men?
The abuser is very possessive of you.Because they never take your feelings in to account.To them you are only a possession.They are always in control,he feels that he owns you.By someone going out with you it angers him and he feels disrespect.In his eyes you belong to him and will always be his weather he wants you or not.
Why do some abuse victims' love turn to hate after relationships end and is it possible they will love the abuser again?
The love turns to hate because the reality of what the abuser did sets in. Speaking as a victim of abuse, I don't think I could ever love my abuser again even if he said he's "changed" because of the reality of what he did to me, and the claims that he "changed" so many previous times during the abuse.
How much can you trust your gut feelings when you suspect an abuser is lying?
I wouldn't expect an abuser to tell the truth. Abusers seem to live in an elaborate world of self-deception. There are reasons for gut feelings. Something said or an action taken has triggered something that you haven't fully figured out. You need to follow through with your feelings, good or bad, to find the answer.
Can one who is a drug abuser harm others?
Yes. It harms the family and friends of the drug abuser. Also, if anyone looks up to that person, they could do the same thing.
What is a common form of abuse where the abuser tries to keep the abused from family and friends?
domestic abuse or violence
What type of drug is a drug that causes its abuser to have delusions and visions?
A hallucinogen. Most are dangerous. People abuse these to escape from what they perceive to be a painful reality, rationally or not.
Can you leave the country to get away from your abuser with your child?
Yes its very legal some of my friends and there mums have ran away
The power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
The victim has no power or they would not be abused. The abuser always has the control. Children and the elderly are victimized often in society as well as men and women. The abuser will start out by abusing psychologically and 'put down' their victim until they leave their victim confused with no self confidence. The abuser may threaten to leave their victim (this is terrifying to the elderly); leave the wife and take the children; talk of killing the victim or anyone that is close to them. The abuser often isolates their victim so their victim has no family or friends to turn too and they have to suffer in silence and depend on their abuser.
What happens to people whose emotional abuse at home was never acknowledged by counselors family etc?
Victims are abused twice: Once when they suffer the actual abuse And once when they are not validated, when the experience of having been abused is denied by the abuser and by society at large.
What role does fear play in abusive relationships?
The abuser of the victim will first alienate the victim from their family and friends and can even move to another town in some cases. An abuser is sly as a fox and at first often can win over not only the victim with kindness and generosity, but also win over family and friends. However, there are many cases where family and friends can often see right through the abuser even before he segregates his victim. Once the two are alone the changes can come quickly such as verbal abuse (the abuser is inwardly unhappy about their own failures in life and will transfer this onto the victim) and then the physical abuse often comes next. Sometimes the abuser will never apologize to his victim, but many do and continue to promise that they will never do it again, but they do. The abuser is aware they have total control over their victim and if the victim shows any sign of independence or that they are going to leave the relationship this is when the real fear starts because the abuser will instill the fear of either killing their victim; their family or, if there are children the abuser may threaten to harm the children or have the victim believe she will never get her children as she is an unfit mother. The victim is basically brainwashed; lost all confidence in themselves; has been alienated from her family and friends and has nowhere to turn. The fear is real and the threats from the abuser are often real as well.
