Is physical attraction and marital intimacy good enough to sustain a marriage without love?

Answer 1

…..There is no "magical" answer to this. All too often, couples are madly in love, but have to ask for advice to set their sexual life on track. Your problem is very complex in that it defies the idea of marriage. You simply can't be physically attracted, and not be in love with some one…..well, you can, but this makes for a very precarious situation in which one of you may be seeking the "missing" part of your lives with another person(s). I share common ground with your husband because I once found myself in the same situation. My wife worked and worked sacrificing my time with her as a result of this, and I found that I had more in common with another woman. I never had anything more than communication with this other woman, but the thoughts entered my mind to advance my relationship with her. It was at this moment, that I went home and told my wife I wasn't sure I sill loved her. The lines of communication opened with such a fervor, that we found that other than sex, we didn't have much else in common. Reluctantly, we ended our marriage and found out that we were better off. I dare to suspect that your physical relationship with your husband is in your mind, safe and sure because you don't have to go through the regular rituals to meet and have casual sex with others. Your sexual "premise" has been set, and with all the bad things and in some cases, bad people that are out there, you feel that sex with each other is the safest bet. Please don't mistake the latter as a relationship fixer. This could be the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back in your marriage. He may have already found the more compatible person, or, he may want you to open up to him and see if there is a chance to salvage what you two have.

Answer 2

It depends what you mean by "last." A marriage, or relationship, can continue or last until the two parties decide to split. It may be unfullfilling, abusive, boring, etc....but it can "last." I think the real question is can a couple have a fulfilling life together without physical attraction? That depends on the couple. I suppose it can last/be fullfilling if both parties are ok with the status quo and have otherwise deep and meeningful aspects to their relationship. However, I think that is rare. You might be able to grow into some kind of physical attraction over time but I think that it is something that is either there or not.

The need for sex/physical intimacy is pretty strong....like the need for food or oxygen. If left unfullfilled, the person will become unhealthy or seek it elsewhere. If you want a friend, ok. If you want a romantic/relationship/lover kind of partner, you definitely need physical attraction.

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