Of course it's the best thing to do ... ditch this guy! May I suggest you go to the "Abused Women's Center" or seek out a therapist to help you through the "victim stage." Yes, you are a victim, because you feel the need to contact this jerk, and the reason for that is he's taken your self confidence away from you and has total control over your thoughts. You need professional help to learn tools so you can get your self confidence back (you are stronger than you think) and recognize the fact you were a victim. You NEVER want to go back with this guy or find someone else that will abuse you. Well over 90% of women that are abused go back to their abusers or find another man that abuses them. It's not that they are weak and enjoy this treatment, but their self confidence and identity has been taken from them and they don't have the tools to get along in society and lead a normal, healthy lifestyle. There is a "Women's Abuse Center" in your town/city and call the operator for the # or go to your local Mental Health and they will lead you in the right direction. You can also discuss options with your doctor. Good luck Marcy Thanks. I now realise I cannot even be friends with this man. I have told him not to phone me for one month. I think by then I will be stronger, alot stronger as for some reason my gut tells me that he knows in the past he has had power over me. I told him I went on a date with another man and he acted as though that was okay, in fact he encouraged me for some reason. I told him Im tired of all the games and him not even acknowledging any feelings for me as though I am worthless. he has even laughed when I confront him about the games he plays as he knows its all nuts. I am fed up and i told him i enjoy a quie life and ebing on my own. Appasrently he is going to visit his family in Ontario in two weeks so I am glad to know he will be outa the province....any more suggestions is appreciated You are still emotionally involved--as if you still hope he'll change for the love of you--as if you think he'll wake up missing you sooooo much that he'll make a life changing commitment to being a better person. He won't. He can't. And you can't fix him. You continue to keep tabs on where he is and where he's going. You really do need to stop talking to him. If he calls, don't answer and DON'T call him back!! Get on with your life, and in less time than you expect, you'll start feeling a lot better. I just changed my phone number today and got it unlisted. I am so sad to think of how depressed and worthless i feel after him. I just want my zest and love for life to return. I usually am such a happy and outgoing person and full of life and the past week after i told him i went to church he has completely ignored me. I am certain he will come back, this is a punishment that he does all the time after he sees independence from me. But this time I see clearly he will not change...this will only get worse. I just want this horrible heartache to end. I feel like i want o get out an live again,but when does this pain go away? I think this time he may have given up and no matter how rejected i feel i know its a blessing for my life. What do I do?
Of course you're going to feel guilt or remorse. That's because you have a history with this person and a conscious. But does not mean you should let your abusive partner move back in. It is unsafe for you and for him or her. The best thing for you to do is keep your abusive partner out of the house and slowly lose contact with him or her.
If he was abusive then I would suggest that you having been with him,you know best what to do in order to keep him from getting aggresive with you in a violent way.If he wants to flaunt her then compliment her and them as a couple then go about your way.You may also consider informing her that he is an abuser.You should consider yourself fortunate to have been able to get out of that relationship.His flaunting her in front of you could be a sign of a couple different things but since he was abusive I won't get into all of them but most likely he had been cheating on you.If you have any more questions feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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