Should you believe your husband if you discovered he was having an affair with a co-worker and their lovenest was across the street from the job he said he'll end it but it's been going on for 9 years?

Answer 1

I am really sorry to tell you this, but your husband is a jerk! He has cost you 9 years of your life. However, there had to be some signs there and either you were too busy raising children or working yourself to see those signs. This so-called excuse for a man is like most cheaters .... lacks self confidence, needs to be stroked constantly and told what a man he is, and hasn't had the guts to tell you he is unhappy in your marriage and lowered himself to cheating. When people are unhappy in a relationship this is what they should do: Remember the promises to each other and vows you took at your wedding. One or both of you should have admitted to each other there was a problem in your marriage and you both could have tried Marriage Counseling. Sometimes a temporary separation from each other for several months is all it takes to realize how much you love each other. If one or both mates aren't trying it's time to get a separation and start divorce proceedings. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING! Your husband would have continued on with this affair if you hadn't caught him with his pants down (a pun intended!) Some men go through what was once called "Midlife Crisis" but, in reality, and a proven fact by doctors it's plain old Male Menopause! Oh yes, it's just not women that go through this. Although males don't go through such a dramatic change their brains can turn to mush and they can get plain silly. Some men just get moody, quiet, lethargic, perhaps depressed, while other men need to regain their youth and will often find young women to fulfill this need. Sounds like you've got the latter. You husband has broken the big one "Trust" and I never believe that once a person cheats they can ever be trusted again. Even if you do stay together there will always be that doubt in the back of your mind. The fact that you caught your husband and he didn't admit to it (first time affairs could be forgiven and hurt feelings healed in time) is a sure sign he'll either continue on with this affair or just have another one. I know it's tough, but kick this guy out! Get angry and grow strong and NEVER let any man hold you down. You've got a lot of energy in you hon, so start working on your strength and don't look at what has happened as a weakness. He simply doesn't deserve you! Good luck Marcy how sad for so long and how convenient for your husband pack his clothes and drop the load at the other woman place.