Should you dump your boyfriend if he recently broke your phone and pushed you to the floor and also just lied to you but he is so nice when he isn't bursting into anger?

Answer 1

"Dumping him" is one of those decisions that only the person involved can make. but, NO ONE SHOULD EVER TOLERATE BEING ABUSED!....emotionally and/or physically under any conditions. An abuser will make all sorts of excuses, like "she or he pushes me until I don't have a choice". It is NOT the fault of the person who suffers the abuse, EVER! The reality is once abuse begins it only escalates, therefore the issue of ending such a relationship should be obvious to those who are willing to listen. National Domestic Abuse Hotline..1-800-799-SAFE, www.ndvh.org.

AnswerThe scary part about someone like this is that you never know when he is going to snap. He has control issues and you should not be treated badly by someone because they having a bad day or just because they think that can. You must remind yourself that someone who loves you or cares for you is not going to hurt you or lie to you. I would certainly end such a relationship however it is your call. Your safety and well being is certainly more important then staying in an abusive relationship. It is not your duty to help him with this issue and don't think he will change for you. Too many girls end up dead or beaten because they stick around to see if he'll change. If you do end it, make sure you are in a public place and don't let him drive you home. Upsetting news may trigger an outrage and he may want to hurt you. Be tactful and honest, but out yourself first. You are deserve better and you will find better with time. Stay safe. AnswerI was the one who asked the question about my boyfriend who broke my phone recently...

I have been with him for 2 years, and he used to be charming, but he still had major issues even in the beginning.

He just recently lied to me about taking his ex out for drinks late on a Sunday night. I saw the receipt, and he finally admitted to it. He had lied to me before about this same issue.

Breaking my phone was a result of "hearing a guys voice on my voicemail." Funny thing is it was an old message he had left that I hadn't erased, but the damage was done. He looked so evil at that moment, taking my shirt and ripping it, then throwing me down.

He has been full of verbal abuse, and is always blaming everything on me, even if its not my fault.

He apologizes, but soon its back to yelling at me.

Last Sat is when I caught him in that lie about taking his ex out for drinks, and he was sorry at first, but he hasn't ACTED sorry. Every time I act hurt, he calls it DRAMA, and he has been so completely cruel its beyond me. He has given me silent treatment these past few days, and calls when HE wants.

I tried to right him an email, saying i forgave him (stupid i know) and I no longer want to talk about what he did. There were other things I said too, but he his response was exactly this: "cant you live with out DRAMA ...I come home from work to this email.. woman doesnt anything else come from you? Nice huh, after what he did to me.

My question is do I even owe him a goodbye? Obviosly this is worth leaving him, so what is the best way to go about it. Yesterday he called me after he saw my email, and he was pissed off over it, said he would call me back, and never did. Just ignore him??

AnswerHi

I'm in a similar situation. My boyfriend went routing through my phone and found a girl's name that he didn't recognise then went about accusing me of talking to blokes on my mobile but disguising them with girl's names!My new Sony Ericsson was thrown to the floor and smashed.The other day he threw the meal I had cooked for him against my wall, I was so angry at him that I smashed the empty plate on his back that it didn't hurt him at all, but the bits fell on my bare foot which made it bleed and was sore for days.All this and I still stay with him. It's always my fault in his mind of course, and while I never really believe it is my fault, the tears come from his eyes and I always end up feeling he needs me.

Sexually I haven't been interested in weeks and it's my birthday tomorrow and he's telling me he has no money to get me anytning, but he's always managed to find money to go out with his mates down the pub.He can be my best friend, but my worst enemy. He wants us to stay together, but I keep trying to split but he always manages to persuade me to stay.

So yeah I know what you're going through, but what road do you take. His was my best mate from college, I've known him for years. Do I hang onto that, stick by him? Or lose him and start again?

AnswerThe person who was abused is NOT GUILTY or RESPONSIBLE for the situation. Therefore they do not "owe" the abuser anything,(including a "good-bye"). Perhaps the best (hopefully safest) option is to cease all communication and concentrate on making a positive, emotionally stable, enjoyable life for their self. AnswerI can't believe I came across this posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I thought I was dreaming and it was my own life!Six months ago my boyfriend broke my phone, when I grabbed his (both which I had paid for!) he twisted by wrist almost to the point of breaking it and threw me to the floor....All of this because he was representing himself as being single to girls that he had met online, when I confronted him about what I had found he went crazy. He went to Jail. He got out and apologized and we got back together.

The sad thing is, I'm still with him and the violence escalated. A month ago I decided to leave him again over the same thing, he pulled a knife out this time and cut my bag up into little pieces and in the process cut my hand. I swore I would never talk to him again.

He emailed me telling me how desperate he was and that everyone abandoned him and he had no one; and would I please just talk to him.

I am in therapy and my counselor told me to go ahead and write him back.....So I did and know I am back under his spell. He was smoking a lot of marijuana back when he was abusive and he has since quit. So, he convinced me to give him another chance. Well, everything has been "great" for the past 1 1/2 months that we've been talking again......But I'm starting to feel "icky" like this is wrong. My family and friends hate him....His own family has disowned him......

I am a college-educated. business owning woman. I haven't been in many relationships, 2 before this one and I am 30 years old. I know what I am doing is wrong and that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him but he has made some really great changes in his life and he is showing great promise....Part of me doesn't want to give up on him, but the other part of me knows that he will hurt me again.....Maybe worse than last time.

He blames all of his past behavior on pot smoking, saying that it made him violent.....I think there are excuses up the ying-yang as far as he is concerned.....I guess the reason I'm posting this is..... If you have the strength to leave him do it! It's not going to get any easier......If anything it gets worse.