You don't reconcile with an ex-spouse when they are married! Doesn't sound like she's leaving her husband. As hard as it may be for you, you know deep down you're playing with fire and it's time to move on. She made her choice and she's living with him! Depends what you mean by "reconcile." The concept of closure is important to many people, tying up loose ends, saying what you need to say, hearing what the other person thinks and ending on good terms. That doesnt mean you're friends and hang out all the time - or even wish each other Happy Birthday - but at least it's one less person to dislike in the world. It doesn't matter if the ex-spouse is already remarried or not.