Signs of a man coming on to a man?

Answer 1

1. You find yourself feeling awkward and uncomfortable around this guy. Your gut tells you there's something he's not saying.

2. He "invades your personal space." In every culture, there are "rules" about how physically close people can be to each other before they're too close. For example, you may not be bothered by having someone's body almost touching yours in a crowded bus or elevator, but if they stood that close to you at a party, you would feel uneasy. This is because our "personal space" expands or contracts depending on circumstances. Be careful about this, though. In some cultures people routinely stand close to others, and it doesn't mean a thing -- just a different upbringing from yours.

3. The guy makes you feel "funny."

Now, here's what's REALLY going on. We may not do anything about it, but almost all of us will get "turned on" by another guy at least once. The first time a "straight" guy has this feeling about another guy, he will usually blame the other guy -- say (or at least think) "He's coming on to me!" Panic sets in, the guy gets all flustered and loses his cool.

So what do you do? Well, if someone's actually coming on to you, they're saying you're attractive. That is a compliment. But if something he's doing makes you uncomfortable, just tell him. "Hey, would you mind not standing quite so close?" If you stay cool and friendly, you will either discover that you've misunderstood simple offer of friendship, or that the guy really is coming on to you. If he's coming on to you, well, you either take the plunge, or say "thanks, but no thanks."

In the unlikely event that he presses even though you turned him down, remind him that "No means no." (You might also talk to some women about this -- guys come on to them a lot, and they've learned how to handle it!)