Twice widowed grave stone inscription

Answer 1

That's the question I encountered when I was asked to inscribe my own grave marker for our newly renovated family plot (my birth family). When my first husband passed away in July 2004 after 22 years of marriage, I purchased a double plot in FL. thinking I was to bury with him when I die. The grave stone was marked with just the regular engraving for deceased spouse: John and Jane Brown (nee Smith) 1953-2004 1957- "Together Forever"The first line was marked with his name and mine, my maiden name in bracket, his year of birth and death (my date of death was left empty of course!) with the quote "Together Forever" at the bottom of the granite marker. The plot was covered by some butter soft lawn next to a number of pine tress and I regarded it to be my permanent rest place in some distant future. However, I happened to remarry that same year and moved to Nevada for my Next Chapter. Unfortunately, things did worked out as expected and we were legally separated in 2007. But before we had the chance to file for divorce, I was widowed again when my second husband passed away in Aug 2008. Despite being a lawyer himself, he died ever without a will. In a state of shock and disbelieve, I once again got a double plot (I shouldn't have but I was kind of convinced by the funeral home) and having similar inscription but with a different engraving: Paul and Jane Green (nee Smith-Brown)1954-2008 1957- "Passage In Time" The quote "Passage In Time" was to reflect our short encounter in life. The grave was unveiled this past May and that marked yet another closure of my marriages. But when my mother was finishing the rebuilding of our family plot in Vermont in early 2009, I was faced with the dilemma as to whether I shall bury along side the father of my children or my family of birth when my time comes. Being a career woman with 2 adorable daughters (23 and 25), I finally decided to being myself once again and rejoin the family, eventually, that I was born with. My only concern was the inconvenience to my 2 daughters who, someday, have to visit their parents graves in two states. On the other hand, visitation, to me, is nothing more than a symbolic gesture. Respect of deceased loved ones shall forever exist in the heart and not on our feet. After all, I myself only visited my first husband's grave twice since he died (ones for the unveiling of his grave in 2005 followed by my 2nd visit this past April after the interment of a widowed colleague's husband who happened to be buried at the adjacent lot in the same cemetery), despite having travelled regularly to Florida on business four to six times per year. The same also applied to my second husband as my last visit was once again at the unveiling of his grave in May. Originally decided to putting only my maiden name on the grave stone (my professor friend advised me its socially acceptable to using only my maiden name despite having more than one deceased husbands), I was convinced from another friend for including both my late husbands' names and my daughters for the sake of tracking by the later generations. My grave stone reads: Jane Smith1957- Wife of John Brown and Paul GreenBeloved Mother of Gail Brown and Mary Brown"Together At Last" Whether or not to include your late husbands' name is a matter of personal preference. It is perfectly acceptable at an etiquette standpoint. But my suggestion is to putting in your married name for the ease of future identification by the children. Once again, your circumstances may be different. I hope that helps. Mrs. Smith