What advice would you give to help an 18-year-old gay to get through his depression because he is constantly picked on and is tortured on a daily basis?

Answer 1

If you are still in school (or college) then gay-bashing is not usually tolerated in ANY school. I live in British Columbia, Canada and there is zero tolerance for this behavior in any sector of our society. See the school counselor and if you are living at home express your feelings to your parents and perhaps transfer to another school. If you are working put a grievance into Management and if they don't rectify the problem then put a grievance into Labor Relations. DON'T you ever change who you are or you would be cheating yourself! You are gay, and thus, in order to be happy you need to be honest with yourself. People generally don't choose to be gay, and there are not enough studies on this subject to find out why some people are gay and others are heterosexuals. One is no better than the other and we should try to get along. I was once a teen myself (many moons ago. LOL) I know kids can be cruel, but now gay people are more widely accepted in society than ever before and there are a lot of gay groups out there fighting for their civil rights. They go to school, they work, pay taxes and contribute to society and fight in wars and sometimes lose their lives. Many gays have monogamous relationships. YOU have every right to be respected if you give respect in return. There are enough bad things happening in this world than worrying about who is gay or who is not gay. I live my life by this rule from The Bible ... "FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SINNED CAST THE FIRST STONE!" Well, I haven't seen any stone throwing in my 65 years! You aren't going to be a teen for much longer, so take a deep breath and hang on for a bit longer. See your doctor and don't be ashamed to tell your doctor you are gay (if you haven't already) and you are very depressed. Stay low if you are in school and hang around with those friends you can trust, or, if you are going to college or working do the same thing. Keep your private life to yourself and associate with a group of gay friends (many gay clubs out there) and have some fun for a change. Often gay men surround themselves with girl friends. Here is an example: In the early 60s I had a very good friend who we'll call "Tim". I met him when I was working up North and we were friends for years. He was constantly battling the fact he was gay, his mother accepted the fact and he was close to his mother, but his father was not and his brother was the usual jock (the worst kind) who tormented me constantly until he was forced to leave home. This was when gay behavior was not tolerated in society. The worst of it all was, he was in the worse place ever ... a construction camp with over 4500 men. If they had found out he was gay they would have beaten him to a pulp, so my advice to him was to pull off being straight (which he always did anyway) and take his weekends to go to the nearest city and go to the gay clubs or meet up with another gay friend. He only had to do this for a year. When I left and returned to my hometown of Vancouver, B.C., it wasn't long after Tim had completed his contract in the construction camp and returned to Vancouver as well. We became close buddies again and went out together and talked a lot. Eventually through all the talking, our friendship and a lot of work on his part he found his middle-ground and was happy. To this day I cherish his friendship and the best part was, he was handsome, I could go out and have fun without being mauled or hit on, and yet had an escort. We laughed so often and in private he would do my hair for me if I was going out on a date and even tell me what clothes I looked good in. Sometimes we'd howl over the experiences he had when he was away in another town. Unfortunately, he moved to Toronto and although we kept in touch by phone and letter he ceased to write. I only pray that he is OK and that he's found peace in his life with a good monogamous partner. It takes courage to admit what you are and you have done that so be proud of that fact. You should never try to change who you are if you are good at heart and spirit and NO ONE has the right to say what type of lifestyle you should live. You haven't been picking the right friends and if you are being name-called hold your head up, ignore the remarks (it's cruel, unnecessary and plain bone mean.) These are ignorant people and of no consequence in your life. Pick places you will be accepted as just someone there that is helping or having fun. For instance, volunteer somewhere to help others. Do you think that a nursing home full of elderly would care if you were gay or not? Not at all! Volunteer for Animal Rights, or cancer, AIDS or anything. Get busy! By doing this these people who volunteer accept you and that's what you are pining for now. It gives you insight into yourself and gives you more strength. Don't let these lug-heads bring you down! You're still a young man and so to be a full-fledged man and gay has nothing to do with the soul you have inside of you. Last, but certainly not least, some very famous people are gay. Trueman Capote was gay and verified this as many actors, authors, directors, etc., and they didn't fold under the fact they were gay. Hang in there & good luck