Question: What do you use when you have to use the toilet while taking a test?
Answer: A #2 pencil.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right.. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?"
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
Teacher: Well, there is one good thing I can tell you about your son.
Father: Oh? What's that?
Teacher: With the grades that he's getting, he can't possibly be cheating.
Teacher: Do you understand the importance of punctuation?
Student: Oh yes, I always get to school on time.
Teacher: Can you tell me what a unit of electricity is called?
Student: What?
Teacher: Correct
Teacher: Please name two pronouns.
Student: Who? Me?
Teacher: Correct.
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
Teacher: What is the difference between a car and a tree?
Student: The car leaves the shed whereas the tree sheds the leaf
Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Sam: She is a woman.
Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher: You failure! At your age Bill Gates stood first in the class.
Student: Mind you, Sir, but at your age, Hitler committed suicide.
A Teacher lecturing on population: "About every 10 seconds a woman gives birth to a kid."
A Man stands up: "We must find and stop her!."
Teacher: "I killed a person," convert this sentence into future tense.
Johnny: The future tense is "You will go to jail".
Teacher: Raju, How many times have I told you not to scribble on the board?
Raju: Sorry Miss, I did not count.
George W. asked the class for an example of a tragedy.
One boy stood up and said, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy." "No," said Bush, "that would be an accident.
" A girl raised her hand and said, "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," the President said. "That's what we would call a Great Loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searched the room and asked, "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of the room, Johnny raised his hand, and in a quiet voice, he said, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "That's right! And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" asked the President. "
Well," Johnny said, "because it wouldn't be an accident and it wouldn't be a Great Loss..."
Why did bob eat his homework. because his teacher said it was a piece of cake
1+1
How funny he looks!! heh heh!
because it is a population
Yepp Goo To Jokesforlife.com and you get loads of jokes
they shouldn't be funny. Its kinda racest
akrweb.com has some clean jokes but there is also a rude jokes section so beware what they see :-D akrweb.com has some clean jokes but there is also a rude jokes section so beware what they see :-D
How funny he looks!! heh heh!
Hsjcnt
Funny jokes Hey, that's a joke, what are funny jokes called? Funny jokes! that's a joke, too!
Some people think it is funny but not for some some people that like dirty jokes are the one who say swear words and have the dirty stuff with females su dont get intrasted in those jokes
Funny jokes are the ones that make you laugh!
jomama
you have no money. haha, that's funny...
because it is a population
One would find funny questions from Freemake, Fun-Stuff, Jokes Clean, Sport Jokes, Funny Free Jokes, Cool Buddy, Blonde Jokes and Men Jokes. Laughing when someone cracks a joke is known to make people happy and healthy.
funny jokes in the app section through your smart phone
Every individual has a different sense of what they feel is funny regarding a joke. Some people do not mind harmless jokes, while other people do not find crude or rude jokes funny at all. Perhaps the jokes told are simply not that funny to you and it is fine if you don't laugh at jokes. Everyone has that option.
None of them, they seem to be only funny to British school children who obviously have mother issues.