It's always about money, so sit down and make a list of your bills and see if his pay check alone will cover those bills and if he can pay all those bills then other than your husband not wanting another child there is no other reason. Having another child as you know is a big step and he may have some hidden fears, so please sit down with him and just talk. Ask him if he has any problems with having another child and if he mentions money then hit him with that list of facts and figures. == I stayed home with both kids with no regrets. However, if my husband had not seen it the same way, I would have looked for a compromise. That would perhaps include a limited time period, your part time work on his time off, or working from home, saving ahead and paying down debt, or a plan for especially frugal housekeeping. You both have to work toward your financial goals, so several talks about how this can be done will be needed. Pick a time when you both are not tired and will not be interrupted--Saturday mornings have worked for us.
Since you have become pregnant from having affair with another man and if your husband has forgiven you and is acceptable of the baby then the two of you can raise that child. However, if the biological father is interested in his own baby then he has some visitation rights. If you husband does not want to raise another man's baby then you will have to consider at least separation from your husband or divorce if you want to raise this child alone. The man you had the affair with should pay child support. You would be wise to seek legal advice.
That's really a question for your husband, but some thoughts may be that: he is concerned about finances, he feels he is too old, he is concerned about bringing another child into the world in it's current uncertain state, he is concerned about a genetic problem, he feels he has enough to handle without adding another child, he is concerned about overpopulation.
Simply take the father to court, a dna will be administered. But, if you do that, then your husband will lose all legal rights as to the upbringing of the child, his ideas to the court will mean nothing. If you have your husband adopt the child, then the bio-dad will have no rights nor will be obligated to pay support, but bio-dad will have to sign those rights away.Having a child by another man while married creates a very complicated legal situation for your husband. You need to consult with an attorney.
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