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The best man's responsibilities go well beyond throwing a memorable bachelor (or 'stag') party and giving a toast (speech) at the reception. As best man, you may be responsible for any on the following:

Prior to the wedding

  • Attending all pre-wedding parties, including the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  • Dealing with tuxedo fittings for ushers and groomsmen.
  • Picking up the groom's formal wear prior to the wedding.
  • If it's a less formal wedding, what exactly are you expected to be wearing?
  • Giving and organizing the order of toasts at the rehearsal dinner (not just the reception after the wedding)
  • Confirming travel arrangements and payment of caterers, officiate, etc. for the couple on their wedding day

At the Wedding

  • Bringing the groom to the wedding, assisting him getting dressed (in a manly way, of course), and making sure all items are returned to the groom's house and/or the tux shop afterward.
  • Being in charge of all ushers.
  • Carrying a copy of any seating plan for the ushers' reference.
  • Checking that the men's boutonnieres are being worn on the left lapel, stem down.
  • Making sure the wedding officiate is paid.
  • Making sure the groom has the marriage license.
  • Signing the marriage certificate as a witness.
  • Keeping the bride's wedding ring until it is time for the groom to place it on the bride's ring finger.
  • Standing next to the bride in the reception line.
  • Organizing the groomsmen for formal photographs.
  • Performing any task or errand the groom or the bride's mother may request at the ceremony.

At the Reception

  • Being the first at the reception in order to welcome the bride and groom.
  • Being seated at the head table or a table of honor.
  • Being the social lubricant to help guests who may not know one another mingle comfortably.
  • Dancing with the bride and with the maid of honor. He should also dance with both mothers and as many people at the reception as possible. No joke.
  • Beyond giving his own toast, being in charge of reading messages to the couple from those unable to attend the ceremony.
  • Being in charge of gathering the single men for the tossing of the garter.
  • Insuring that the couples' suitcases are loaded into the get-away car.
  • Verifying that the groom has all tickets, hotel information, traveler's checks, and all he needs for the honeymoon.
  • Making sure all ushers' and groomsmen's formal wear is returned to the tux shop. If the groom's attire belongs to the groom, making sure it is all cleaned before being returned to the grooms' house.

Expenses

  • Paying for formal wear and accessories.
  • Paying for all travel costs.
  • Giving both a shower gift and a wedding gift
  • Carrying all costs associated with The Bachelor party (I recommend sharing expenses will all present except the groom. See Bachelor Party section for more on this).

Other Stuff

  • Ask if there will be any other duties assigned to you that may not be on the lists above.
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Q: What are the best man's responsibilities?
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