What can you do to protect yourself from emotional abuse from your spouse?

find help if he not willing to talk its the best thing you could do
Dump the chump, that solves your issues. Anyone who is working on a persons emotions to force one to do something or conform to specific task is not worth the effort. Relationships are meant to be 100% effort from both sides there is no 50/50 split. A good relationship will have issues but these should be easy to resolve and the relationship should be almost hassle free. If you are being abused emotionally or physically that's not a relationship, it's a dictatorship and is no place to be. If your spouse is playing head games, they won't stop especially when they know that bothers or gets to you. Play ground bullies are play ground bullies, they never learn, so take the high road and get out of Dodge while you can. If not all it will do is get worse.