Asked in RelationshipsBreakupsTeen Dating
What do you do if you've been dating your boyfriend for 6 months and you're 40 and he's 45 and wants to have a baby but you can't but you love each other and he doesn't want to break up but needs spac?
November 04, 2005 8:30PM
Sounds like things are getting very serious in your relationship ... marriage. He may want a little space (time out for himself, but not time constantly away from you to be sure he wants to go without children ... a child with you.) YOU HAVE TO EDUCATE HIM ON THIS SUBJECT! If he is the type of man that just has to produce children to prove to himself he's a man, then here is an option: You both can go through the process of seeking out a surrogate mother to carry his baby. Two ways this can be done: They do it the natural way, or, he gives his sperm and it's implanted into the surrogate mother. Usually the latter is taken and I can understand why. YOU MUST HAVE A CONTRACT DRAWN UP BETWEEN THE PERSPECTIVE MOTHER AND YOURSELVES OR SHE COULD RENEGE ON GIVING UP THE BABY AFTER IT IS BORN. If he just loves children and the children don't have to be his own you can adopt. Adopting from other countries is usually much quicker than trying to adopt in your own State (that includes Canada.) You can also go through a lawyer and they can set you up (costly) with a pregnant mom that needs a good family for her child. These are certainly options, and if he isn't willing to go on with your relationship after you have explained this, then he doesn't love you and don't mess around about telling him this bluntly! When you love someone nothing else matters. To love someone unconditionally means you accept that person no matter what and you work through any difficulties. Men are not generally educated re options for having babies. Go on the internet and do your homework and then discuss these different methods to him. If he is still needing "head space" you have the right to know why. Ask him! If he is using excuses such as "I just couldn't do that" then there is much more wrong with your relationship than either of you realize. He could be self indulgent or, it's a plain old excuse not to get on with your relationship. Good luck Marcy