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Je voudrais = I would like tu (a colloquialism added for emphasis, along with the conjunction "donc" - misspelled "dons") mon = my (wrong grammatical gender for the noun which follows) couchette = berth, bunk, crib Thus deconstructed, the sentence was probably intended to mean more or less, "How I'd like my bed right now!" OR: The intention might have been: Je voudrais tu dans ma couchette maintenant, which would be a badly put together "I would like you in my bed right now." A better grammatical sentence would be, "Je te voudrais dans ma couchette maintenant."

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Q: What does Je voudrais tu dons mon couchette maintenant translate to in English?
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