What is a shidduch in Judaism?

Answer 1

A shidduch is the Yiddish word for matchmaking; having couples suggested to each other by a third party.

Religious Jews frown upon social dating; dating being reserved for the purpose of meeting your life-long soul mate.

To improve the chances of success, a Shadchan (matchmaker) will suggest to the parents of both singles that their children meet. The families will do some compatibility research - and only then will the potential couple meet.

It is important to note that Jewish law states that neither the young man nor the young woman may be compelled to marry. Each has to be allowed to decide for themselves.

The couple will meet a few times - rarely more than 10 times before becoming engaged. Physical contact (even hand-holding and kissing) is strictly forbidden and the couple will never be alone together in a private room before they get married.

The engagement period will last from 6 weeks to a year, depending on the family custom. During this period the couple will usually meet every few days for a short period of time.

The Shadchan is typically paid a fee for successful matches; often $1000 per match, from each side.

Some people treat being the Shadchan as a full time job. Others as a hobby and others may do so once-a-lifetime.