Yes it is etiquette to have a bridal shower for a second wedding.
If you have not been invited to the wedding then you should not send a gift.
You can, of course, but a great deal of tact will be required since it's only human nature for those not invited to the wedding to wonder how you reached the decision to invite others and not them.On the other hand, there could be resentment if you invite friends to neither the shower nor the wedding!One idea might be to make it a special shower, maybe with champagne and good finger food, and explain privately to each person not invited to the wedding how bad you feel at not being able to fit everybody in, but there simply isn't room.Perhaps you could give them, privately again, a small gift - a keepsake - of the wedding and suggest that once you're settled following the honeymoon, you'll give a simple, intimate party just for them. Do this before the wedding, otherwise it might appear to some that you feel they're upset and are simply trying to pacify them.
Ideally, the bridal shower would be held 1-2 months before the wedding, but there is nothing wrong with it being held more in advance, or less, provided that the bride can attend.
Ask the bride if it is ok, unless you want it to be a surprise. Then, ask the groom if it is ok.
There's no reason why he shouldn't bring her with him - so long as she has been invited.
If your husband cannot go and is in agreement and the friend was also invited to the wedding then there is nothing wrong with going with them. However, if your friend was not invited to the wedding then you should either go with a couple you know or another single guest that you know.
The Bushes
Yes, it's absolutely proper for the groom's aunt (and/or the bride's aunt, also) to host a bridal shower. The main ones who shouldn't host bridal showers are the parents and grandparents of the bride and groom.
There is nothing wrong with giving a late bridal shower for who got married at the courthouse and is also pregnant. It may make her feel better considering she did not have a traditional wedding. You could either do it that way or wait and have a baby shower for her.
* If you are very close to the person that the bridal shower is for then sign it 'With love _____' or, 'Wishing you all the happiness in the future _____'
If you are a good friend and can't make the wedding you should give a little something. But if you weren't invited, this basically gives you no obligation to give. You could have a office gift pool, everyone throws in five bucks or something. Also, check out www.theweddingenvelope.com/calculator.php it is a wedding gift calculator, might help in future. Later, CC