The time to ask that of someone in a proper way would be when the registry lists go out. Just let them know if they don't want to spend the time shopping then they can simply buy a gift card. Present them with a list of places as well as online links to make it easy for the person buying them.
Its important to let them know you are ok with them getting gift cards, you might want to also add in the registry note that you would not be offended at all if they did. That will make their mind more at ease.
Yes it is etiquette to have a bridal shower for a second wedding.
Ask the bride if it is ok, unless you want it to be a surprise. Then, ask the groom if it is ok.
The mother or sister of the young woman expecting a baby can have a baby shower if they like. Often it is a sister that can arrange a baby shower and your sister will probably have another baby shower at work or by one of her friends.
Ideally, the bridal shower would be held 1-2 months before the wedding, but there is nothing wrong with it being held more in advance, or less, provided that the bride can attend.
Etiquette concerns the comfort, care, and well being of others, and others only. It is entirely selfless and absolutely destroyed by selfishness. So etiquette does not see this shower already given. Etiquette does not care what you've done, but what you are about to do. Etiquette says if you can give her a shower, do so. If not, find someone else to help or let her know gently. It may seem like a lot, but this is love, caring, kindness, generosity, and all those other virtues that without with, etiquette would not exist.
It is proper etiquette to only invite people to the shower who will also be invited to the wedding. If the couple is having a private ceremony with only family, then only invite family to the shower. If they are eloping and not inviting anyone, it would be safest not to have a shower because those at the shower would be expecting a wedding invitation.
Phone the person that is having the baby shower and let them know that you are sorry, but you cannot attend. Generally the host of the baby shower will accept that answer and seldom ask why. It is proper etiquette to let the person know that you won't be attending. A nice note to the mother to be be would be nice and apologize for missing the grand event.
The focus of a baby shower is on the mother-to-be and her baby. The father or baby-daddy or whatever is generally not present, married or not. Just keep the focus on the right things -- the positive aspects of parenthood and new life. The shower is not a proper time to create any bad feelings or offer any opinions on lifestyle.
By the rules of proper etiquette, you can't. It isn't up to you if you have a baby shower or not. This is a party given for you and your future arrival by family or close friends that should only require you showing up. If you do not want/need one you can ask them not to give you one and offer an alternative instead like ask for money to be put toward cord blood banking instead of gifts. Just don't be shocked when no one listens or thinks you're a total witch.
Since the bride is never suppposed to be throwing the shower, it's up to the bridesmaids. It may be seen as a money-grubbing opportunity by the friends and relatives, especially if she didn't send everything back.
'In the shower' would be correct as the world 'shower' does not strictly define the shower head.
Given those conditions, yes. ---- Although registries are widespread and very popular, etiquette-wise they are in bad taste as they are equivalent to asking for gifts. Gifts are NOT to be expected.