What should you do if your husband left you 6 months ago but hasn't filed for divorce yet and comes around and sleeps with you and makes little comments that make you think he might not want a divorce?

Answer 1

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been divorced before and am happily married to my 2nd husband. Love does hurt. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I shoot straight from the hip (I get angry when nice people like yourself don't deserve it and get hurt) and I feel he's using you as a "pit stop." If he can come back into your life anytime he wants and you end up in bed together then I guess he'll keep coming back. One thing about men is, many of them don't care where they get sex as long as they do. It's confusing to women because sometimes it's difficult to tell if the guy really cares for you or it's all about sex. It's possible your husband does love you and he's confused so you have to "untie the knot" and here is how. Take a risk! Sit down with him and communicate how you feel, then let him have his say re his feelings. Tell him he isn't coming back into this marriage without some commitment and trying to get along and you won't put up with him splitting up every time there is a problem in your marriage. Stand strong, sure-footed (even if you are shaking inside) and don't ever let anyone control your life or take your dignity away. You aren't asking him to commit a crime, but to commit to a relationship and the sanctity of the marriage vows he took. Meanwhile girl, get loaded for bear! That means, get a new look. Get your hair done in a different style; have a girlfriend over for the evening and try different types of make-up (less is best) and buy a couple of pieces of clothing (good prices out there if you know where to look) and besides making yourself feel better it may just knock the socks off your husband. Let him see what he's missing! Sometimes it's easy if a woman is raising kids, cleaning house (some working as well) to look your best all the time, but it can be done on occasion. It's not good (I'm not accusing you of this) to let yourself go and that includes the husband or boyfriend. I go around in jeans or sweats during the day with no make-up on (letting my skin breath) but my hair is always nice and I keep myself in as good shape as I can without being a prisoner of exercise and I eat a fairly good diet. I can't stop the aging process, but, I can look the best for my age. So far, so good. LOL When I go out shopping, out for the evening or even visiting a girlfriend, I'll always take the time to look fairly good, but probably dress in jeans and a nice sweater or blouse, have make-up on and my hair done nicely (I do my own hair.) I love to dress up for fancy special occasions because it makes me feel like a "sexy mama!" LOL Life is more interesting when we, as women, look once in awhile out there to see how we can improve upon ourselves. That doesn't mean plastic surgery, crazy diets, but just general things. Women should look neat, like they care about themselves and again, that goes for the men. Who wants to look at a guy sitting across from you with a dazed, unshaven look on his puss, and stains down his T-shirt, with no hygienic matter going on. Fat, thin, tall, short, doesn't matter. Be the best you can be! I really wish you luck hon, because I know you must feel lonely and probably think you have failed in the marriage (when you haven't), but remember ... it takes two! Go for it girl and stand strong! Good luck Marcy