I am sure proud of you for leaving your abuser. It took guts, and it's hard. You should choose one loyal, good friend to discuss what you have been going through. I'd keep family out of it for now. You should also seek psychological counseling to learn the tools to stop repeat performances by abusive men. You may not think so right now, but you will have problems being comfortable with a man that treats you like you deserve to be treated (read this board on that subject.) Abusers do a fine job of brainwashing and have left their victims mentally and sometimes physically scarred. You are no different. You just don't pick up and move on once you have been in an abusive relationship. You will still have feelings of wondering why you put up with it for so long; why you let him do this to you; what did you do to deserve such treatment and before you know it, you'll have yourself convinced that you deserved some of the abuse you received from this man. It is called, "The Cycle of Abuse." You are not home-free yet. You need to get your self confidence back, and you need those tools from counseling to help you find a good, strong life and good, strong relationships. This man has scarred you mentally. Good luck God Bless Marcy
Have self worth! people with emotional,finacial ect..problems,abusers prey on weak people.watch for signs of controlling your friends ,trying to isolate moving a relationship too QUICKLY! go with your gut instict,it is always right,(also friends,family and your Pet's really are a good judge of character
In an unhealthy relationship one party might be more controlling when it comes to money, time, etc. Signs to look out for in an unhealthy relationship are :One party ignores the other in public. One party tries to separate the other from friends or family, or keeps their friends and family separate. One partner compares the other to an ex or another person, and is constantly criticizing the other. One partner is verbally or physically abusive.
do not continue an abusive relationship once you are strong enough to leave... my daughter divorced her emotionally abusive husband who molested her children,,, in less then 3 months she is seeing the pediphile again and isolateing herself from her family and forcing the children to be with this man again... if you go back into an abusive relationship of any kind your the same as the abuser, mayber even worse... do not be a fool or victimize your self again... don't do it.............................
Get out of it. That would be my first step. then I would tell someone i trusted, like a family member. I would work with them to figure out what my next step should be, and most of the time it should probably be getting law enforcement involved. If you're in an abusive relationship, definitely start by getting out of there.
You will do best if you have a strong support system. Let family and close friends know what is going on. You will be surprised at the number of people who know that you are hurting and want to help, but the abuser has most likely kept you away from these people. Family and friends will be more than happy to help you, even those you have not had contact with in some time. And please get counseling! Counseling will help you to sort everything out. Good luck!
One reason may be is that they don't know how to help. Another reason may be they are afraid to help. The power that an abuser has over the abused is frightening, both emotionally and physically. It is not unheard of that an abusive relationship can end in murder. Often times the abused person has been brainwashed into thinking they don't deserve anything better. Or they know they need help, but are too afraid to ask for it. There are professional organizations that are trained to help people get out of abusive relationships. They will offer a safe place to stay, counseling and the tools to start their life over. The abused person is the only one who can make positive steps to leave an abusive relationship. The best that family and friends can do is support that decision.
If he is using a belt to hit you, you are probably in a abusive relationship. Try talking to him about it, but if your man is dominant, you should try to seek some help from an external source such as friends and family or a relationship counseling centre. Do you feel as though you still love him? If you do, try and work it out, I'm not sure how deep your relationship is as you did not state it, but if he continues to use a belt to hit you, you should leave him as this is an unhealthy relationship that at the end of the day will end in tears, blood and bruises.
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