Why do abusers make their family believe that their partners are crazy?

Answer 1

Abusers deny that they are abusers and that their conduct is abusive. They shift the blame to the victim.

One good answer is that to them it is 'fun'. they stay in control, make sure that their partner does not get any sympathy or help, and the abuser is running the show. It is all part of the controling and manipulative process that the abuser beleives keeps their victim so physically, mentally, and emotionally in chaos that they will never leave. It does work as many people don't leave their abusive partners and become sick physically, mentally, and emotionally trying to survive, stay partnered, and/or rescue their abuser.

They need to have someone on their "side." Seeing as they have isolated the abused person, they need to have total control. Since the outside world hasn't the first clue what kind of person they are, they will need "someone" to have as a witness that the abused person is actually crazy--especially when the relationship becomes severed.

I know it happened to me. While in the abusive relationship the abused person loses their sense of reality of what they once knew and actually begin to think they are going crazy. The abuser is very good at manipulating therefore they are masters of manipulation of facts, words, circumstances and events---all to make themselves appear "sane" while the abused person appears "crazy."

You are not crazy and obviously those outside the relationship do not know the full spectrum of your relationship with the abuser. God Bless