Why is it considered bad for your relationship if you move in together before marriage?

Answer 1

It isn't necessrily bad. It just depends on an individuals beliefs and opinions. Everyone needs to do what they think is the right way for them.

I think a lot of it has to do with religion. I don't know where they get it from but I know that is something frowned upon in the Catholic religion and I know many others. I think this is carried over into one of those things that everyone thinks society frowns upon. In my opinion forget about what everyone else thinks and do what you think is best. I'm not saying don't listen to others 'opinions', but once you do, make your own decision based on your own reasoning.

Personally, my girlfriend and I have lived together for 4 years. It is the best thing we could possibly do because once we get married we know we can make it. We've gone through all the ups and downs together and have proven our love for one and other over and over. Living together before getting married has given us the opportunity to learn about each other completely before going through all the expense, hassle, etc of getting married. We will one day soon, but living together helps guarantee that once we do we will not un-do it.

Good luck.

I WILL SHARE STATISTICS WITH YOU THAT ARE PUBLISHED IN LADIES HOME JOURNAL MARCH 2003. WWW.LHJ.COM.55% OF COUPLES WHO COHABITATE MARRY WITHIN 5 YEARS OF MOVING IN TOGETHER. 53% OF WOMEN IN THEIR FIRST MARRIAGES LIVED WITH THEIR SPOUSES FIRST. MARRIED COUPLES WHO LIVED TOGETHER FIRST HAVE A 46% HIGHER DIVORCE RATE THAT THOSE WHO DID NOT.

Edit:I just want to point out that the higher divorce rate mentioned above is not necessarily *caused* by living together before marriage. Many couples that will not live together before marriage are more traditional. More traditional relationships, those in which divorce is a remote option (if it is an option at all) have a higher "success rate" than others. If you define success as "staying married."

STATISTICS. IT IS THE SAME REASON YOU WOULD NOT HIT AN 18 WHEN THE DEALER IS SHOWING A 4, IT IS JUST BAD ODDS.

There are as many reasons as there are people. Most of what has been previously answered makes sense. I offer a different perspecitive.

When a couple co-habits without the benefit of marriage, they do so without the legal protection of marriage as well. Not having to go through a legal divorce if they separate can be blessing. Not being entitled to protection under the law can make it difficult to proceed.

One of the basic reasons for legalized marriage is to render legal offspring. But if you look at marriage as a financial institution, like a business, with the marriage partners as business partners; you come to understand it in different terms. If any business partnership ends, the assets are divided between the two and a settlement is made. When two people cohabit, and especially if they accumlate assets in that partnership, (furniture, household goods, savings accounts, a house) there is no legal protection for the distribution of those assets should they split up. During a hurtful break-up, people tend not to be reasonable and accommodating, even with those they "love". This is often what the painful process of divorce is, and it exists for a reason, as any screwed ex-(non)wife or husband can tell you.

I lived with my girlfriend for 2 years before we got married. This year we celebrate our 6th year together. Three of my best friends also lived with their partners for one or more years before getting married. All three are still happily married after 3-5 years of marriage. My sister lived with her boyfriend for 3 years before finally getting married and they have been married for 3 years now and show every sign of being happy. Both of my brothers live with their girlfriends and both of them told me since their girlfriends moved in, their quality of life has improved. I work in management and as a result I work with a lot of different people and get to know them on a reasonably good basis. Of my colleagues who are divorced, only 2 of 11 lived with their partners before getting married. While this is not a thorough survey of individuals I do find it interesting. Moreover, among the people I work with university educated couples tend to live together before marriage and stay together while couples who did not receive post-secondary education tend not to remain together, whether they live together first or not. So my answer is send everyone to university and they'll stand a better chance of living happily ever after. How might this be so? University provides a better opportunity to earn a living. So divorce rates are not a result of living together before marriage, but rather the stresses imposed by poverty.

Lack of respect from religious mother will effet you long term on both sides.

My boyfriend just asked me to move in together, we both live with our families and have been dating for almost 2 years now..we have good carreers, yet since we are just starting the money is just enough...might be able to save some. I am a firm believer that once you get married there isno way back...i do not support divorce and neither does my boyfriend, we want to give it a try before taking the big step to avoid a possible divorce...have a "trial marriage" if you will.

you don't have time to plan it out

it is considered bad for your relationship because of this: you will get married because it is the next logical step, not because you can't live without eachohter OR you will get married because your parents are pressuring you AND on your wedding day all the old ladies will say "I cant believe she's wearing white". Its 2006 and everyone has sex before marraige but at least when you live apart, there can be the illusion and the chance that you didn't.

It is considered bad for your relationship, because there is no real life long commitment. You are not promising each other anything, other than that you are currently cohabitating together. Anyone can find a roommate. It is sort of like saying, well, I'll give you a trial run and if I don't like you enough, I'll just leave. If you give your vows in marriage, you are making a life long commitment and should work much harder at contributing to the success of a life long exclusive relationship