Your boyfriend is prude what do you do?

Answer 1

The term "prude" is a shortened version of the word "prudent" or "prudence". A person who is "prudent" is wise, thoughtful, reflective, discreet, and/or intelligent (look it up in your dictionary). Individuals who prefer to be reckless, impulsive, irresponsible, short-sighted, and/or self-centered often dislike or are jealous of those who are "prudent" as they are "imprudent" in their decision-making. "Prudence" is displayed in how school assignments are completed, work expectations are met, mood-altering substances (street drugs/alcohol/inhalants/poisons) are used/avoided, sexual thoughts/feelings/behaviors are dealt with, relationships with others are developed, hobbies/leisure activities are chosen, religious commitments are kept, cultural practices are followed, and/or interactions with the natural world are handled.

Usually, those who are teens are the ones who start feeling pressure from others their age to not be "prudent" about their actions/behaviors. This is classic "peer pressure" which is a reality that every adolescent must learn to successfully cope with, if s/he wishes to live a rewarding and meaningful life. Fortunately, that intense pressure will ease off, once you reach your early 20's.

Those who decide to do things (legal or not) that they really don't want to do, out of fear that others will call them nasty names or make fun of them if they say "no", will lose their own self-respect and make many potentially harmful choices that could impact them and/or others for the rest of their lives. It's OK to take some risks in life. However, each risk you take needs to be well thought out and calculated. Well-calculated risks are those which have a high probability of success, pleasure, and/or other rewards attached to them, without significant harm to anyone being involved.

Trying to force a friend, family member, romantic partner, or anyone else you care about to do something they don't believe is wise or responsible is a very unkind thing to do. It's a way of saying that you know what's best for them, rather than them knowing what's best for themselves. While you may be comfortable with a certain activity or see it as relatively harmless, others may not view it that way.

Think of times others have tried to pressure you into doing something you felt was wrong or that you didn't feel OK about trying. The harassment that forced on you probably led to some degree of resentment, on your behalf. That is the inevitable outcome of one person trying to bully, pressure, or force another into doing something they are not ready for or are uncomfortable with (there are hundreds of reasons one person might not be comfortable with an action that another person is comfortable with). This is a situation where you need to practice the original "Golden Rule" - treating others as you would want to be treated, which means respecting your boyfriend's wishes in terms of physical contact/physical boundaries.

Just as you wouldn't want some guy getting his body parts all over you, if you weren't interested/willing for that kind of contact to take place, so you should show equal regard for guys who aren't ready for that level of contact yet. Just because he's not ready now doesn't mean he won't be a few weeks or months down the road. Everyone develops trust and physical comfort levels with others at a different rate. This doesn't mean there's anything wrong with either of you, just that you move into romantic relationships differently. Since sexual relationships have high physical, emotional, legal, and economic risks attached to them, this is an area where most people are "prudent" in taking plenty of time to get to know their partner and themselves very well, BEFORE moving the physical contact on into more intimate levels.