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Nikko Cormier ∙
Danny (Jin-Wang)
Those sentences that are simple and direct speed up the pacing.
"prickly dark"
The curtains dragged heavily to the ground, the view from the glass obscured by a fog of neglect. (APEX)
It slows down the pacing and forces the reader to pay more attention.
Frenzy and panic
A cough
Atmosphere and mood -apex :)
He heads to camp in search of fire
she runs to meet the bus and eats her apple
to get points from the Campfire girls
Her apple
She hears the sound of a woman cough inside the room
The rules of reality that govern the story
Relaxed