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You don't. It is emotionally abusive to tell others to calm down. It is robbing them of power, and that is why they are upset because they perceive someone stole power from them or is trying to control them. Robbing them of more power and further violating them won't help them when that is what caused the upset.

Instead of trying to control others and boss them around by telling them to calm down, we should learn to trust their ability to calm down on their own, learn to listen to others, get over our need to have to feel in control, learn to be more comfortable around those who are upset, and simply allow them to calm down without ever drawing attention to their behavior. If you draw attention to their behavior, you are in essence accusing them. It may be true, but that is the last thing they need to hear. I've seen many situations escalate because some observer decided to take control of the situation at the expense of whoever was upset and thus provoke them to worse behavior. They then pat themselves on the back, blame the other person for being unreasonable or "crazy," and in their self-righteousness, they never see that their need to control others provoked the situation.

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11y ago

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How do you say calm down?

You can say "calm down" in different ways such as "take a deep breath," "relax," or "stay calm."


Why don't others realize it is abusive to tell any other person to calm down?

We just had a question on this site asking "How do you tell your brother to calm down?" which was answered in some detail, beginning with the statement that it is emotional abuse to tell someone to calm down. So it would seem that if someone is telling others to calm down, you could cite that answer, or ask them to look it up themselves under the exact working that I have quoted. Of course, people will not necessarily be convinced, just by reading something on the internet, however, it is still better to be able to refer someone to a published opinion rather than just your own opinion.


What helps calm you down?

You can calm down by just breathing in and out three or four times or you can go into the bath room on wet your face which feels good so you get calm. When i try to calm down i just breath and that's it so i calm down.


What to do when scared?

When you're scared, take deep breaths to calm yourself down, focus on the present moment, and try to identify what is causing your fear. Reach out to a friend or a professional for support, and remember that it's okay to feel scared - it's a normal emotion.


How do you get your brother to be nice to you?

Try having a calm and honest conversation with your brother about how his actions make you feel. Express your feelings and listen to his perspective as well. It may also be helpful to establish boundaries and communicate clearly about what behavior is acceptable to you.